Let me ask another way… if I told you that, after today, you would never be able to drink alcohol again…how would you feel?  Devastated? Anxious? Panicked? Indifferent? Relieved?

The holiday season is here …and many Americans plan to drink alcohol at some point—whether as a coping mechanism for dealing with difficult family members; as a way to deal with uncomfortable social situations or social anxiety; as a way to “relax” or “de-stress”; as a way to “party” and “have a good time”; or simply to indulge as a celebratory elixir.

Let me be clear: I am not judging you if you do drink alcohol.

Alcohol is deeply embedded in the social fabric of American culture. Marketing campaigns have (successfully) made drinking alcohol seem cool, fun and sexy. You don’t have to “go to a bar”” to drink. These days, access to alcohol is so easy—from gas stations and grocery stores, like Shoprite, to Target and on-site at the workplace. You don’t even have to leave your house… 7 Eleven, for example, delivers food and booze right to your doorstep via their app! Alcohol is also a big money-maker at restaurants; among full-service restaurants, alcohol-based drinks represent 21% of total sales as of 2023 (1).

My point is that alcohol is EVERYWHERE, and it has been glamorized and normalized in film, television, media, advertising and social media.

Before you start pouring, however….it is important to understand the health risks and consequences of alcohol consumption—no matter how casual or “light”.

Physical Safety

Sexual violence. Approximately 50% of sexual assaults involve alcohol consumption by the victim, the perpetrator, or both (2, 3). Over the years, in my practice, I have had a number of female clients share their stories of having been raped while intoxicated or passed out.

The infamous P. Diddy “parties” should give us pregnant pause. Diddy was known for spiking bottles of alcohol with illicit substances that left his victims too drugged to defend themselves or unable to remember what had happened to them. Many victims—women, men and minors (at the time of the event)—have come forward with allegations of gross sexual abuse, sexual assault, forced sex and sex trafficking.

Homicide. Alcohol is often a contributing factor in homicides. I recently worked with Clara (not her real name), a 42-year-old mom with two young children whose husband was an alcoholic. She was struggling to process how much her marriage had deteriorated because her husband’s drinking had escalated over the last 7 months. After drinking, her husband would become extremely paranoid and, sometimes, violent towards Clara. Even though Clara had a safety plan that she had worked out with her therapist, she was reluctant to leave. She kept hoping that her husband would miraculously stop drinking. She expressed this to me—even as she sat in her car to hold our session because her husband was sleeping off an alcoholic rampage in their house.

According to a study published in the Journal of Criminal Justice, researchers found that, among 1,887 offenders who had committed murder, 50% were under the influence of alcohol at the time they killed their victim (4).

Why your body identifies alcohol as a toxin

Ethanol (the chemical name for alcohol) and water are the main components in beer, wine and spirits. One exception is very sweet liqueur, like amaretto or limoncello, where the sugar content can be higher than the ethanol content (5).

Ethanol is both water-soluble and fat-soluble, enabling it to pass into all cells and tissues of your body.

Alcohol can damage virtually every organ in your body—not just the liver—although the liver is a major target for alcohol-induced organ damage (6, 7).

Here’s how alcohol metabolism works: You drink alcohol. It travels to your gastrointestinal tract; is absorbed into your bloodstream; then travels to your liver. Most of the ethanol is broken down in the liver by an enzyme that transforms ethanol into a toxic compound called acetaldehyde, a known human carcinogen (cancer-causing), according to the World Health Organization. Another enzyme breaks down acetaldehyde to a less toxic compound called acetate, which is further broken down to carbon dioxide and water, mostly in tissues other than the liver (8).

Acetaldehyde is a toxic byproduct that results during the breakdown process of alcohol in the body. An increased level of acetaldehyde is implicated in the development of many diseases, including Alzheimer’s Disease and stroke, as well as the impairment of brain structure and function (9).

Although acetaldehyde is short-lived—meaning that it usually exists in the body only for a short time before it is further broken down into less toxic acetate—it can potentially cause significant damage to the liver. Some alcohol is also metabolized in the pancreas, brain and gastrointestinal tract, areas where acetaldehyde can also cause damage to cells and tissues (10).

So…how much alcohol can we “safely” consume?

In 2023, World Health Organization published this statement:

“When it comes to alcohol consumption, there is no safe amount that does not affect health (11).”

This means: drinking alcohol in any amount carries a health risk. And that risk goes up with every additional drink you take. For example, any amount of alcohol consumed increases risk of breast cancer and colorectal cancer (12).

The CDC defines “moderate drinking” as (13):

Women: 1 standard drink or less / per day

Men:  2 standard drinks or less / per day

One “standard” drink is (14):

–12 oz. of beer with 5% alcohol

–8 oz. of malt liquor with 7% alcohol

–5 oz. of wine with 12% alcohol

–A shot or 1.5 ounces of liquor (e.g., brandy, gin, vodka, rum, tequila) or distilled spirits (80-proof liquor = 40% alcohol)

Despite these guidelines, keep in mind that “moderate” for one person can be excessive for another.

No two people metabolize alcohol the same way. How alcohol affects you depends on multiple factors, including: gender (e.g., women feel the effects of alcohol more quickly and acutely than men); overall health; weight; family history of alcoholism; age; hormone status (e.g., whether women are premenopausal, perimenopausal or menopausal); stress level; genetics; ethnicity; medications taken; whether you drink alcohol with food or an empty stomach; and, of course, your personal tolerance level for alcohol.

If you choose to drink, it is important to understand the following…

Health Consequences of Alcohol Consumption

1.  You ingest pesticides.

It is highly likely that bottle of conventional wine you’re drinking contains multiple pesticides.

Viticulture is challenging because wine grapes are susceptible to plant disease, fungal pests and insects. As a result, conventionally grown wine grapes are heavily sprayed with pesticides multiple times during vine developmental stages and grape production, as well as in winemaking (15). The most common pesticides detected in finished wines are mainly fungicides, such as fluopyram, boscalid, and cyprodinil, among others (16).

A 2018 European Union Report showed that pesticide residues could be found in more than 86% of grapes. In fact, multiple pesticides were reported in over 68% of some 2,181 tested grape samples (17).

According to the 2022 California Department of Pesticide Regulation report, the top 5 active ingredients applied to wine grapes (by pounds) include (18):

1)  Sulfur fungicides / insecticides.  Sulfur fungicides are associated with increased risk of esophageal cancer (19).

2)  Oil.

3)  1,3-Dichloropropene.  A fumigant, which produces gas or vapor to destroy pests, 1,3-Dichloropropene is likely a human carcinogen, or cancer-causing (20).

 4)  Glyphosate, a.k.a. Roundup.  See more on glyphosate below.

 5)  Glufosinate-Ammonium.  An herbicide and suspected endocrine (hormone) disruptor linked with reproductive toxicity; for example, adversely affecting male sperm quality (21).

In beer-making, barley, hop, water, and yeasts are the main ingredients. Barley and hop are highly susceptible to bacteria fungus, viruses and pests. As a result, they are heavily sprayed with pesticides; in particular, insecticides and fungicides, at various stages of growing and during post-harvest storage (22).

Roundup is the most commonly used agrichemical (herbicide) in the world. Glyphosate is the main active ingredient in Roundup. Today, it is virtually impossible to escape glyphosate contamination in food and drink, including beer and wine—even for organic producers. Glyphosate has been linked to cancer, especially non-Hodgkin lymphoma (23). Glyphosate acts like an endocrine (hormone) disruptor; for example, a study published in Food Chemical Toxicology found that glyphosate stimulated estrogenic activity linked with the growth of breast cancer cells (24).

2.  You increase your risk for 6 types of cancer.

Here is an uncomfortable fact…excess alcohol consumption is linked with over 200 diseases and increases the risk for 6 different types of cancers (25): According to a recent survey, 51 percent of Americans are unaware that alcohol consumption increases the risk of certain types of cancer, including (26).

1. 1. 1. Certain types of head and neck cancers
      2. Esophageal cancer
      3. Stomach cancer
      4. Breast cancer
      5. Colorectal cancer
      6. Liver cancer

3.  You are unable to properly absorb nutrients.

Alcohol falls into the category of “empty calories”, meaning it has zero nutritional value. Not only that, chronic or heavy alcohol consumption can result in overall malnutrition by reducing the body’s ability to absorb nutrients or by increasing loss of nutrients (27).

For example, alcohol inhibits the absorption of vitamins, like thiamin (vitamin B1), vitamin B12, folic acid and vitamin A. Simultaneously, alcohol is a diuretic that increases urine output, which causes the loss of water-soluble minerals such as zinc, potassium and magnesium (28).

4.  You are susceptible to having a leaky gut.

 Chronic alcohol consumption can result in a disruption to your gut microbiome, also known as dysbiosis. This imbalance of microbiota results in more harmful “bad” gut bacteria outnumbering beneficial “good” gut bacteria and / or yeast overgrowth in the gut (29, 30).

When our gut barrier has tight junctions, this prevents toxins from entering our bloodstream.

However, regular alcohol consumption can create intestinal permeability, making it “leaky”. Over time, this can result in endotoxemia, which occurs when toxic byproducts from harmful gut bacteria escape through a leaky gut wall into the bloodstream, creating systemic inflammation, liver injury, other organ injuries (e.g., in the pancreas or kidneys), or worsened gastrointestinal symptoms, such as  abdominal pain, bloating, nausea, diarrhea (31).

5.  You can hurt your liver.

The liver is one of the hardest-working, multi-tasking organs in the body.

Among its many roles, the liver produces and secretes bile, a fluid that helps digest fats; metabolizes carbohydrates, fats and proteins; and produces substances that are essential for blood clotting (32).

The liver also filters and removes toxic substances—like alcohol—from the blood. However, the process of metabolizing alcohol creates acetaldehyde, a toxic byproduct, that damages liver cells.

Over time, liver function can become impaired and lead to alcohol-induced liver diseases, including (33):

–Alcohol-related fatty liver disease. When the liver metabolizes alcohol, it can lead to the build-up of fats in the liver, creating an enlarged liver that impairs proper liver function. About 90% of people who regularly consume excessive amounts of alcohol have fatty liver disease; it can even occur after drinking too much alcohol for as little as 2 weeks.

–Alcohol-related hepatitis. This stage is characterized by swelling and inflammation of the liver. Liver damage in the early stages of hepatitis can usually be reversed by abstaining from alcohol. However severe hepatitis can result in a rapid decline—even death.

–Alcohol-related cirrhosis. Cirrhosis occurs when the liver has become permanently damaged from alcohol, and scar tissue replaces healthy tissue. The liver is unable to function if scar tissue builds up beyond a certain point, and this type of damage cannot be reversed.

6.  You can injure your lungs.

When it comes to chronic alcohol consumption, your lungs are especially susceptible to bacterial infections and acute lung injury (34). How? Alcohol can disrupt your upper and lower airways, impairing optimal immune response. Your lungs are less able to clear out inhaled pathogens, mucus and debris. Alcohol can also compromise the alveolar epithelial barrier, a thin layer of cells that lines the alveoli, tiny air sacs in the lungs, where gas exchange occurs. Glutathione is a master antioxidant that plays a vital role in protecting cells from oxidative stress and damage. Chronic alcohol consumption can deplete glutathione up to 80 to 90 percent in the alveolar epithelial lining fluid of the lungs, creating alcohol-induced oxidative stress, which can contribute to lung disease and/or infections, like pneumonia (35).

Chronic alcohol consumption means that the drinker’s airways are constantly exposed to high concentrations of alcohol vapor. The alcohol is then deposited and metabolized in the airways. This process leads to the formation of toxic byproducts, like acetaldehyde, which, in turn, can trigger inflammation (36).

In chronic drinkers, inflammation-induced changes in the upper airway are associated with poor oral hygiene; a greater susceptibility to cavities and gum disease; and increased risk of lung infections because of a compromised oral microbiome that has been taken over by bad bacteria (37).

7.  Women: You increase your risk of breast cancer.

Sorry, ladies. That’s full stop.

“Moderate” alcohol consumption (apx. 1-2 drinks / day) has been linked with a 30-50% increased risk of breast cancer (38). Moderate alcohol consumption can raise estrogen levels and contribute to hormone-receptor-positive cancer.

In a study published in Current Breast Cancer Reports, researchers conducted a meta-analysis of 53 studies comparing women with light, moderate and heavy alcohol intake to women who did not drink alcohol at all. What they found: relative risk of breast cancer increased by 32% for women who had 3-4 drinks / day and by 46% for women who had 4 or more drinks / day. Even women whose alcohol intake was considered “light” (1 or less drink / day) had a 5% increased risk of breast cancer compared to non-drinkers (39).

More recently, the World Health Organization stated there is no “safe” level of alcohol consumption for cancer—and this applies to all alcoholic beverages (wine, spirits and beer), regardless of quality and price (40). The WHO also noted that many women remain unaware that breast cancer is the most common cancer caused by alcohol among women globally.

8.  Men: You can end up with Low T.

Since the early 1980s, alcohol has been known to lower testosterone in men. In a study published in Pharmacological Biochemical Behavior, healthy men were given the equivalent of a pint of whiskey to drink every day for 30 days. Their testosterone levels were then compared to those of men with chronic alcoholism. (By the way, virtually all the alcoholic men had “low-normal” to “low” levels of testosterone). The testosterone levels of the healthy men began dropping after just 72 hours (3 days). By Day 30, the healthy men had testosterone levels similar to those of the alcoholic men (41).

Chronic, heavy drinking not only lowers testosterone levels in men, but can also cause the testes to shrink.

These changes can result in impotence, infertility and elevated estrogen levels (through aromatization— where the enzyme aromatase converts testosterone to estrogen) that lead to male breast enlargement and fat deposits in the hip area (42).

9.  You shrink your brain. Literally.

According to a 2017 study published in the British Medical Journal, even moderate drinking is associated with adverse brain outcomes, including hippocampal shrinkage, an area of the brain involved in memory, learning and emotion (43).

Study participants consisted of a randomly selected subset of 527 men and women who had been participating in the Whitehall II Study cohort, which had been established in 1985 at University London College. The purpose of the original study, which included 10,308 British civil servants as participants, was to understand the relationship between socioeconomic status, stress and heart health. Sociodemographic, health and lifestyle variables (including alcohol use) were measured over a 30-year period at 5-year intervals.

In 1985, the average age of the 527 participants was 43, and none were dependent on alcohol. Over the next 30 years, these participants answered detailed questions about their alcohol intake and took tests to measure memory, reasoning, and verbal skills. They all underwent MRI brain imaging at the end of the study (44).

The results? Over a 30-year follow-up, even moderate alcohol consumption was associated with hippocampal atrophy (45). Hippocampal atrophy can also be an early characteristic of Alzheimer’s Disease (46).

Higher alcohol consumption (apx. 4 or more drinks / day) had an almost 6x higher risk of hippocampus shrinkage compared to non-drinkers, while moderate drinkers had a 3x higher risk compared to abstainers. Even “light” alcohol consumption offered zero brain-protective effects compared to not drinking at all.

10.  You are at higher risk for contracting an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection).

This seems like common sense. But, in an alcohol-fueled moment of lust, all logic can fly out the window. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and invites impulsive behaviors.

Studies show that alcohol use is associated with reckless sexual behaviors, including condomless sex and having multiple partners, which are linked to an increased risk of sexually transmitted infections or STIs (47).

On more than a few occasions, I have had female clients share their regrets about an alcohol-enhanced hook-up that left them dealing with genital herpes, chlamydia or bacterial vaginitis (BV).

One client, *Lara (*not her real name + minor details have been changed) was a 30-year-old woman who had attended a friend’s destination wedding in Mallorca last summer. With the wine and Champagne flowing at the reception, Lara surrendered to a night of passion with another wedding guest and engaged in condomless sex. The very next day, Lara experienced vaginal discharge and abdominal bloating. She tested positive for gardnerella vaginalis, which caused her bacterial vaginitis, and she was treated for it. Three months later, she engaged in another alcohol-induced night of condomless sex—this time with a friends-with-benefits partner. Two weeks later, Lara began experiencing intense pelvic pain and tested positive for another case of bacterial vaginitis for which she had to take 3 rounds of antibiotics. However, her pelvic pain and a swollen abdomen persisted for months, leaving Lara anxious about having pelvic inflammatory disease, an infection that could compromise her fertility. By the time we finished working together, Lara came to the realization that alcohol and hook-ups are a bad combination; her ability to have children was important to her; and, having to deal with an STI—alone—is neither “sexy”, “liberating” or “empowering”.

If you do drink… 

1  Be honest about your relationship with alcohol. Do you need it to cope with stress, especially on a daily basis? How often do you drink? How difficult is it for you to NOT drink?

2   Reconsider whether you should drink at all, especially if you have a family history of alcoholism.

3   Choose organic or biodynamic wines or organic beers.

4   Be mindful of how much you are actually drinking…as in actually measure in a measuring glass.  And drink less.

5   Try scheduling periodic breaks from alcohol.

6   Only drink alcohol WITH food.

7   If you drink more than intended, replenish with electrolytes. I like—and use–this brand.

8   Replenish your B vitamins and magnesium levels.

9  Consider doing post-holiday whole foods-based cleanse.

Sources

1  Alcohol beverage services overflowing with potential to draw customers, drive sales. 2023, June 7. National Restaurant Association.

2  Zawacki T, Abbey A., Buck PO, McAuslan P, Clinton-Sherrod M. Perpetrators of alcohol-involved sexual assaults: How do they differ from other sexual assault perpetrators and non-perpetrators? Aggressive Behavior. 15 July 2023. Vol. 29, Issue 4. Pages 366-380.

3  Darke S. The toxicology of homicide offenders and victims: A review. Drug and Alcohol Review. 2 March 2010. Vol. 29, Issue 2. Pages 202-215.

4  Wieczorek, WF, Welte JW, Abel EL. Alcohol, drugs and murder: A study of convicted homicide offenders. Journal of Criminal Justice. Vol. 18, Issue 3, 1990. Pages 217-227.

5  Alcohol Drinking.Chemical Composition of Alcoholic Beverages, Additives and Contaminants. ARC Monographs on the Evaluation of Carcinogenic Risks to Humans, No. 44. IARC Working Group on the Evaluation of Carcinogenic Risks to Humans. Lyon (FR): International Agency for Research on Cancer; 1988.

6  Rajendram R, Rajendram R, Preedy VR. Chapter 35 – Ethanol Metabolism and Implications for Disease, Editor(s): Victor R. Preedy, Neuropathology of Drug Addictions and Substance Misuse, Academic Press, 2016, Vol 1, Pages 377-388.

7  Rusyn I, Bataller R. Alcohol and toxicity. J Hepatol. 2013 Aug;59(2):387-8.

8, 10  National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. “Alcohol’s Effects on Health”. NIAAA NIH (National Institute of Health). May 2022.

9  Rajendram R, Rajendram R, Preedy VR. Chapter 51: Acetaldehyde: A Reactive Metabolite, Editor(s): Victor R. Preedy. Neuropathology of Drug Addictions and Substance Misuse, Academic Press, Vol. 1, Pages 552-562. 2016.

11  No level of alcohol is safe for our health. 2023 Jan. 4. World Health Organization.

12  Alcohol use: Weighing risks and benefits.  2024, June 21st. Mayo Clinic.

13  About Moderate Alcohol Use. 2024 May 15. Centers for Disease Control.

14  About Standard Drink Sizes. 2024, May 15. Centers for Disease Control.

15, 17  Dumitriu G-D, Teodosiu C, Cotea VV. Chapter 2: Management of Pesticides from Vineyard to Wines: Focus on Wine Safety and Pesticides Removal by Emerging Technologies, Editors: Antonio Morata, Iris Loira and Carmen González. Grapes and Wine, Intechopen, 19 July 2021.

16  Martin-Garcia B, Longo E, Ceci AT, Pii Y, Romero-Gonzalez R, Frenich AG, Boselli E. Pesticides and winemaking: A comprehensive review of conventional and emerging approaches.Comprehensive Reviews in Food Science and Food Safety. Vol. 23, Issue 5, 25 Sept. 2024.

18  California Dept. of Pesticide Regulation. (2022). Pesticide Use Annual Report: 2022 Data Summary.

19  Ren, X., Xin, L., Peng, L. et al. Association between sulfur microbial diet and the risk of esophageal cancer: a prospective cohort study in 101,752 American adults. Nutr J 23, 139 (2024).

20  National Toxicology Program. 15th Report on Carcinogens [Internet]. Research Triangle Park (NC): National Toxicology Program; 2021 Dec 21. 1,3-Dichloropropene (Technical Grade): CAS No. 542-75-6.

21  Ferramosca A, Lorenzett S, Di Giacomo M, Murrieri F, Coppola L, Zara V. Herbicides glyphosate and glufosinate ammonium negatively affect human sperm mitochondria respiration efficiency, Reproductive Toxicology, Volume 99, 2021, Pages 48-55.

22  Pérez-Lucas G, Navarro G, Navarro S. Comprehensive Review on Monitoring, Behavior, and Impact of Pesticide Residues during Beer-Making. J Agric Food Chem. 2023 Feb 1;71(4):1820-1836.

23  Tarazona JV, Court-Marques D, Tiramani M, Reich H, Pfeil R, Istace F, Crivellente F. Glyphosate toxicity and carcinogenicity: a review of the scientific basis of the European Union assessment and its differences with IARC. Arch Toxicol. 2017 Aug;91(8):2723-2743.

24  Thongprakaisang S, Thiantanawat A, Rangkadilok N, Suriyo T, Satayavivad J. Glyphosate induces human breast cancer cells growth via estrogen receptors. Food Chem Toxicol. 2013 Sep;59:129-36

25, 26 American Association for Cancer Research, Cancer Progress Report 2024, page 52.

27, 29  Barve S, Chen SY, Kirpich I, Watson WH, Mcclain C. Development, Prevention, and Treatment of Alcohol-Induced Organ Injury: The Role of Nutrition. Alcohol Res. 2017;38(2):289-302.

28  Smith, Monica (June 13, 2012). Alcohol can lead to malnutrition. MSU Extension.

30  Mutlu EA, Gillevet PM, Rangwala H, Sikaroodi M, Naqvi A, Engen PA, Kwasny M, Lau CK, Keshavarzian A. Colonic microbiome is altered in alcoholism. American Journal of Physiology-Gastrointestinal and Liver Physiology 2012 302:9, G966-G978.

31  Rao R. Endotoxemia and gut barrier dysfunction in alcoholic liver disease. Hepatology. 2009 Aug;50(2):638-44.

32, 33  Alcohol-related Liver Disease. Yale Medicine.

34, 35, 36, 37  Mehta AJ, Guidot DM. Alcohol and the Lung. Alcohol Res. 2017;38(2):243-254.

38, 39  McDonald JA, Goyal A, Terry MB. Alcohol Intake and Breast Cancer Risk: Weighing the Overall Evidence. Curr Breast Cancer Rep. 2013 Sep;5(3):10.1007/s12609-013-0114-z.

40  Alcohol and Cancer in the WHO European Region. 2020. International Agency for Research on Cancer, World Health Organization.

41  Duca Y, Aversa A, Condorelli RA, Calogero AE, La Vignera S. Substance Abuse and Male Hypogonadism. J Clin Med. 2019 May 22;8(5):732.

42  Emanuele MA, Emanuele NV. Alcohol’s effects on male reproduction. Alcohol Health Res World. 1998;22(3):195-201.

43, 45  Topiwala A, Allan CL, Valkanova V, Zsoldos E, Filippini N, Sexton C, Mahmood A, Fooks P, Singh-Manoux A, Mackay CE, Kivimäki M, Ebmeier KP. Moderate alcohol consumption as risk factor for adverse brain outcomes and cognitive decline: longitudinal cohort study. BMJ. 2017 Jun 6;357:j2353.

44  Merz, B. (2017, July 14). This is your brain on alcohol. Harvard Health Publishing.

46  van de Pol LA, Hensel A, van der Flier WM, Visser PJ, Pijnenburg YA, Barkhof F, Gertz HJ, Scheltens P. Hippocampal atrophy on MRI in frontotemporal lobar degeneration and Alzheimer’s disease. J Neurol Neurosurg Psychiatry. 2006 Apr;77(4):439-42.

47  Llamosas-Falcón L, Hasan OSM, Shuper PA, Rehm J. A systematic review on the impact of alcohol use on sexually transmitted infections. Int J Alcohol Drug Res. 2023 Jun;11(1):3-12.

Boundaries characterize every relationship we have, whether familial, romantic, work and even total strangers. Boundaries can evolve over time, depending on the status your relationship with someone; for example: a stranger versus a family member.

As vital as boundaries are for our mental and emotional health, many factors can complicate the boundary-setting process, especially at Thanksgiving, a time when expectations run high.

Maybe you’re visiting family with whom you don’t typically spend much time; you may have traveled a long distance to see them—and you don’t want to “rock the boat” while there. There may be a tendency to slip into childhood roles. For example, you and your siblings start bickering three seconds after you greet each other. Or family members still treat you like a 12-year-old child instead of a 42-year-old mother of two. Maybe your family rehashes embarrassing stories from your childhood, like the time you were 5 and had an “accident” at the mall. Family members can feel entitled to offer unsolicited advice, opinions, or criticism about everything, from your weight (e.g., Keto will help you lose those 30 pounds!) and appearance(e.g., Wow! You’re looking so ‘distinguished’—pointing to your undereye wrinkles—since the last time we saw each other!); to partner status (e.g., Still single? You can kiss ever having kids ‘good-bye’!) and lifestyle choices (e.g., When are you going to get a ‘real’ job?).

As they say: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”. 

Why would you want to experience Thanksgiving (and the rest of the holiday season) in a state of chronic tension and distress? Setting boundaries is key to enjoying time with the people with whom you most want to experience connection and joy. Feeling uncomfortable or unsure how to set boundaries?  See the tips below.
 

10 Tips for Setting Boundaries at Thanksgiving

1.  Know your WHY.

Get clear about WHY you’re celebrating Thanksgiving at a family member’s home, especially if it’s a family member(s) with whom you have a strained or difficult relationship; this helps “set the tone” for your boundaries.

Let’s say, for example, your sister is hosting Thanksgiving dinner at her house this year. Your sister has always been self-absorbed and controlling, and you’re not close with her. But your kids love their cousins (your sister’s kids) and are excited about seeing them; so, you decide to go for their sake. Spending Thanksgiving at your sister’s also affords you the opportunity to visit with elderly relatives you would not otherwise see. Keep this WHY in mind, which will help you….

2.  Manage your expectations.

The key is to have realistic expectations. This is not a Lifetime movie! Just because it’s Thanksgiving, challenging relationships or complicated family dynamics will not miraculously change for the better—even if your family is gathering in the same space for the first time in two years after the COVID debacle.

At Thanksgiving, count on history repeating itself. Parents who start bickering after a few glasses of wine. The family friend who overshares at the table. The uncle who goes on his usual political rant. The relative who can’t stop detailing her every bodily ache and pain. The son-in-law who has a short fuse. In addition to dealing with the drama of the usual cast of characters, you might feel pressured to eat more, drink more, or spend more than you feel comfortable.

When you have realistic expectations, you can adjust your boundaries accordingly. This can help you…

3.  Just say “No”.

If you don’t feel up to attending a family gathering, where there is constant drama, bickering, fighting, bullying or a barrage of insults being thrown your way, you can decline an invitation kindly but firmly: “No. I can’t make it this year.” Or: “No. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to join you.” Or: “Thank you for the invitation. Unfortunately, no…I won’t be coming.”

“No” is a complete sentence and does not require an attendant explanation.

If your WHY for attending a specific Thanksgiving gathering is for someone else (e.g., your kids), you can:

4.  Anticipate triggers.

The best defense is a good offense. When you anticipate potential triggers, you can decide how you will set your boundaries in advance.

For example, if you have a highly competitive and narcissistic cousin who likes to dominate the conversation and constantly interrupts you anytime you try to express a thought or opinion, you could say: “I feel frustrated that I can’t finish my train of thought because I’m being interrupted. Could I please finish speaking before you share your thoughts?” If your cousin ignores this boundary, you can decide whether you stop talking altogether—or leave the table or room.

Speaking of triggers…

5.  Have a list of non-triggering “safe” topics at the ready.

The last 2-1/2 years have been steeped in division, whether it’s politics, gender identity, race, immigration, vaccine status, medical freedom, censorship, the state of the economy or our educational system. Decide in advance what topics are off the table—for you.

Instead, identify what YOU feel comfortable discussing, whether it’s the weather; a new recipe you’re trying; music; or your favorite restaurant, movie or television show…and be mindful of sticking to these topics!

This enables you to…

6.  Avoid being baited.

If / when you are being needled to respond to a triggering topic, you can say something like: “I don’t talk about XYZ.” Or: “I’m Switzerland today…100% neutral.” Or: “I don’t know enough about that person / topic to have an opinion.”

If the needling continues, you can…

7.  Extract yourself from the conversation mentally and/or physically.

Give yourself a time-out and take deep breaths before replying. Visualize being in a calm and relaxed place. Excuse yourself from the room or table. Go for a walk. Help with clearing the table. Help wash dishes. Check on the kids. Take a nap.

8. Prepare yourself around food.

At Thanksgiving, many people step outside their own boundaries around food. The holiday, itself, as well as family members, encourages overindulgence. Most people will break from routine and consume more sugar, more snacks, more starches and refined carbs; drink more alcohol; and/or eat out more often than they normally would.

Stay mindful. If you are following a specific way of eating—e.g., low-carb, gluten-free, dairy-free, Keto, Paleo or you have food intolerances—decide in advance what you will or can eat. You can let your host know in advance about any food sensitivities or dietary restrictions you have so they do not feel “rejected” by your refusal to eat a certain dish(es). You can also decide if there are one or two specific dishes or alcoholic drinks in which you can indulge—without ill effect—whether it’s an extra helping of sweet potato pie, your grandmother’s famous boiled custard, or a cranberry mule. Decide in advance what “treats” you plan to enjoy—rather than indulge in the moment…only to have eater’s remorse for days to come.

If you are vegetarian or vegan and attending a non-vegetarian Thanksgiving gathering, you may want to bring a dish (or two) that you know you will feel comfortable eating. The same applies if you have any other dietary restrictions. For example, if you are following a gluten-free protocol, you may want to bring a dessert, as traditional dessert offerings are typically wheat flour-based.

Food can be a triggering topic. If you have found your way to better health, improved energy, and weight loss through your food choices, you may be in an evangelical mode about helping others “see” how their food choices can potentially change their life. The Thanksgiving table, however, is not the place to proselytize. Refrain from lecturing others about their food choices.

In the same way that you want others to respect your food choices, you have to respect others’ food choices—even if it goes against what you believe.

Keep in mind: people will only make changes around food and lifestyle if / when they are ready—not because you have told them that they need to stop eating sugar, carbs, or meat!

9.  Communicate boundaries clearly—and from an “I” perspective.

How you communicate a boundary can make a difference in being heard—or not. Always start from a place of “I feel”; then, say what you need or want. For example, “I feel uncomfortable when you share news about my ex-husband and the woman for whom he left me. I’m still hurting. Please don’t do that. I’d rather not know.”

Avoid making “You did XYZ” statements, like: “You never help out with the kids—even when I’m under the gun with project deadlines. You are so selfish! Can’t you see how stressed out I am?” The person on the receiving end of this statement hears an accusatory tone and criticism—and, as a result, tunes you out. You’re back to square one.

10. Exit stage left gracefully—and early if necessary.

We can clearly communicate our boundaries to others. However, keep in mind: we cannot control how other people will respond to our boundaries. There may nasty pushback, feelings of hurt and resentment or utter disregard for your boundaries—no matter how thoughtfully worded or how clearly you’ve stated your limits. We can only control how wereact to the negative behavior of others.

If boundary violations persist, you can always take your leave. Or, if the boundary offenders are visitors to your home, you can always ask them to leave.

Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable, yes. But they also give you the psychological freedom to be true to yourself. And that’s something for which you can be truly grateful.

The Hallmark version of Thanksgiving depicts cozy, happy family gatherings; perfectly dressed hosts and guests; well-behaved children; and mouthwatering food served in a beautifully decorated home with everything in its place.

The reality?

Many clients with whom I work feel a great deal of distress this time of year, especially around navigating relational and financial challenges.

Their stress can be triggered by:

• • Having to come into contact with family members who are narcissistic and/or inflicted physical, emotional or sexual abuse in the past.
  • An overcommitted social schedule, OR being purposely excluded from family gatherings.
  • Concerns around food. Feeling tempted to eat more than usual and self-sabotaging weight management efforts. Eating more of the wrong foods that worsen a chronic health condition, like diabetes, heart disease or an autoimmune condition. Feeling unaccepted for having a different way of eating than the rest of the family (e.g., being a vegetarian or vegan in a family of meat-lovers at Thanksgiving). Being pressured to eat traditional Thanksgiving dishes (e.g., mac and cheese, cornbread dressing, biscuits) by family or friends who believe your food sensitivities / intolerances are “all in your head”.
  • Feeling pressured to conform to family expectations of how and/or where you will spend time with them.
  • Feeling obligated to overspend on travel, gifts or food when you are unemployed, underemployed or on a tight budget.
  • Feeling pressured to deliver or to have a “perfect” Thanksgiving experience (e.g., be a perfect host or cook a perfect meal).
  • Over-functioning. Attending to everyone else’s needs but your own.

This is why having boundaries—as well as respecting the boundaries of others—is essential for emotional, mental and physical well-being, especially during the holidays. It is the ultimate act of self-care.

What is a boundary?

Boundaries define what we let into our life—and what we keep out.

Perhaps this proverb, often attributed to poet Robert Frost, says it best.

“Good fences make good neighbors”.

Physical boundaries, like a house on a lovely piece of property with a fence around it, are generally clear and easy to respect. The fence sets clear boundaries, indicating where your property ends—and where your neighbor’s property begins. You and your neighbors know what belongs to whom—and where NOT to cross the line (because of the fence).

Psychological boundaries, however, are not visible and can feel more challenging to set and enforce.

Having grown up in an authoritarian-style family structure, I often struggled with setting boundaries because I did not want to be perceived as “mean” or “selfish”. An example comes to mind. Years ago, Pete, an elderly neighbor in his 80s, used to stand at the entrance of the Manhattan apartment building where I lived. He loved to chat with tenants as they were coming or going. At the time, I was a freelance writer who worked from home. I juggled multiple deadlines, but I always took a break mid-day for my daily run along the East River. Of course, I would run into Pete, who flirted shamelessly with me, while talking non-stop. Culturally, I was raised to be polite and deferential to elders and, certainly, someone who was 50+ years older than myself qualified as an “elder”!

Over time, however, I went from genuinely enjoying our conversations, to dreading running into him—not because of the flirting, but because I felt “trapped”, like I was being held “hostage” in our conversations. I started feeling resentful because, in my mind, Pete should have known that I was very busy and had limited personal time. It got to the point where I began peeking around the stairwell first to see if he was at the entrance. If he was there, I returned to my apartment, where I would simmer and stew!

I even began asking my husband if he could go downstairs and check if “the coast was clear”. Bemused by my avoidant behavior, my husband suggested that, instead of stopping to say “hello”, I simply walk past Pete and say “hello” with a friendly smile and wave, thereby creating a physical boundary that prevented engagement. If he began talking, I would just tell him that I was going for my run. It was a simple solution that worked beautifully.

The obstacles to setting a boundary with Pete were ones that I had created in my own mind. I had expected poor Pete to read my mind. I had projected my thoughts onto him; e.g., he would think I was “mean” if I did not come to a full stop and chat with him. I had expected him to somehow “know” my boundary when, in reality, it was my responsibility to make my boundary clear—not his.

Psychological boundaries are limits that we identify for ourselves; then, we enforce through verbal communication and/or the actions we take.

Boundaries may be dictated by your values, beliefs, and experiences.

Boundaries characterize every relationship we have, from family, friends, and romantic partners; to work colleagues, neighbors and people in positions of authority; and even complete strangers. Boundaries create a personal space that enables us to stay aligned with who we are. When applied—and respected—boundaries provide a sense of mutual respect, safety, expectations and clarity.

When we don’t set boundaries, we can find ourselves in unhealthy relationships, compromising situations and toxic environments that affect our mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

Examples of boundaries can include…

You may have boundaries around your time.

I don’t talk on the phone—even with friends and family—after 9PM on weekdays.

I am unavailable to meet on Saturdays; I usually spend the day with my kids.

You may have boundaries around your energy.

The party sounds like loads of fun. Thank you for inviting me. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to make it.

Thank you for suggesting that I host the weekly Book Club meetings. Unfortunately, I have to decline. I am unable to provide a venue.

You may have boundaries in relationships.

I need to feel safe before I can be sexually intimate with you. This means that we agree to see each other exclusively, and we both get tested for STDs (sexually transmitted diseases).

When I feel upset; sometimes, I just need to vent. When you interrupt me with suggestions on how to “fix” things, I don’t feel heard. If I want your advice, I’ll let you know.

You may have boundaries around communication and/or how you want to be treated.

I feel invisible when I try to express my opinion, and you shout me down. I am leaving now. Let’s revisit this conversation when you’re ready to have a civil conversation and to hear what I have to say.

I feel frustrated and unappreciated when I’ve spent time preparing a nice meal for us, and you are distracted at the table, answering emails and texts. I’d like to connect with you at the end of our busy day: could you please leave your phone in the office when we eat dinner together?

Okay. We know that boundaries are important. But why are they SO hard to apply—especially at Thanksgiving?!

It may be because:

1. You are uncomfortable with perceived or real conflict.

2. You don’t want to be thought of as “mean”, “difficult”, “not cool” or “not nice”.

3. You don’t want to feel rejected or excluded, so you “go along to get along”.

4.  You don’t feel “good enough”, so you don’t feel worthy of having needs—and you second-guess yourself. For example, “Maybe I am being too ‘selfish’ about not wanting to stay at my parents’ house—even though they constantly criticize my appearance and lifestyle choices.”

5.  You are a people-pleaser and tend to put others’ needs before your own.

6.  You were raised in a family where the concept of boundaries was foreign. Even if you tried to set boundaries, they were ignored, ridiculed, or weaponized.

Many factors can complicate the boundary-setting process at Thanksgiving, a time when expectations run high.

Maybe you’re visiting family with whom you don’t typically spend much time; you may have traveled a long distance to see them—and you don’t want to “rock the boat” while there. There may be a tendency to slip into childhood roles. For example, you and your siblings start bickering three seconds after you greet each other. Or family members still treat you like a 12-year-old child instead of a 42-year-old mother of two. Maybe your family rehashes embarrassing stories from your childhood, like the time you were 5 and had an “accident” at the mall.

Family members can feel entitled to offer unsolicited advice, opinions, or criticism about everything, from your weight (e.g., Keto will help you lose those 30 pounds!) and appearance( e.g., Wow! You’re looking so ‘distinguished’—pointing to your undereye wrinkles—since the last time we saw each other!); to partner status (e.g., Still single? You can kiss ever having kids ‘good-bye’!) and lifestyle choices (e.g., When are you going to get a ‘real’ job?).

10 Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries at Thanksgiving

1.  Know your WHY.

Get clear about WHY you’re celebrating Thanksgiving at a family member’s home, especially if it’s a family member(s) with whom you have a strained or difficult relationship; this helps “set the tone” for your boundaries.

Let’s say, for example, your sister is hosting Thanksgiving dinner at her house this year. Your sister has always been self-absorbed and controlling, and you’re not close with her. But your kids love their cousins (your sister’s kids) and are excited about seeing them; so, you decide to go for their sake. Spending Thanksgiving at your sister’s also affords you the opportunity to visit with elderly relatives you would not otherwise see. Keeping your WHY in mind will help you….

2.  Manage your expectations.

The key is to have realistic expectations. This is not a Lifetime movie! Just because it’s Thanksgiving, challenging relationships or complicated family dynamics will not miraculously change for the better—even if your family is gathering in the same space for the first time in two years after the C*VID debacle.

At Thanksgiving, count on history repeating itself. Parents who start bickering after a few glasses of wine. The family friend who overshares at the table. The uncle who goes on his usual political rant. The relative who can’t stop detailing her every bodily ache and pain. The son-in-law who has a short fuse. In addition to dealing with the drama of the usual cast of characters, you might feel pressured to eat more, drink more, or spend more than you feel comfortable.

When you have realistic expectations, you can adjust your boundaries accordingly. This can help you…

3.  Just say “No”.

If you don’t feel up to attending a family gathering, where there is constant drama, bickering, fighting, bullying or a barrage of insults being thrown your way, you can decline an invitation kindly but firmly: “No. I can’t make it this year.” Or: “No. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to join you.” Or: “Thank you for the invitation. Unfortunately, no…I won’t be coming.”

“No” is a complete sentence and does not require an attendant explanation.

If your WHY for attending a specific Thanksgiving gathering is for someone else (e.g., your kids), you can…

4.  Anticipate triggers.

The best defense is a good offense. When you anticipate potential triggers, you can decide how you will set your boundaries in advance.

For example, if you have a highly competitive and narcissistic cousin who likes to dominate the conversation and constantly interrupts you anytime you try to express a thought or opinion, you could say: “I feel frustrated that I can’t finish my train of thought because I’m being interrupted. Could I please finish speaking before you share your thoughts?” If your cousin ignores this boundary, you can decide whether you stop talking altogether—or leave the table or room.

Speaking of triggers…

5.  Have a list of non-triggering “safe” topics at the ready.

The last 2-1/2 years have been steeped in division, whether it’s politics, gender identity, race, immigration, vaccine status, medical freedom, censorship, the state of the economy or our educational system. Decide in advance what topics are off the table—for you.

Instead, identify what YOU feel comfortable discussing, whether it’s the weather; a new recipe you’re trying; music; or your favorite restaurant, movie or television show…and be mindful of sticking to these topics!

This enables you to…

6.  Avoid being baited.

If / when you are being needled to respond to a triggering topic, you can say something like: “I don’t talk about XYZ.” Or: “I’m Switzerland today…100% neutral.” Or: “I don’t know enough about that person / topic to have an opinion.”

If the needling continues, you can…

7.  Extract yourself from the conversation mentally and/or physically.

Give yourself a time-out and take deep breaths before replying. Visualize being in a calm and relaxed place. Excuse yourself from the room or table. Go for a walk. Help with clearing the table. Help wash dishes. Check on the kids. Take a nap.

8. Prepare yourself around food.

At Thanksgiving, many people step outside their own boundaries around food. The holiday, itself, as well as family members, encourages overindulgence. Most people will break from routine and consume more sugar, more snacks, more starches and refined carbs; drink more alcohol; and/or eat out more often than they normally would.

Stay mindful. If you are following a specific way of eating—e.g., low-carb, gluten-free, dairy-free, Keto, Paleo or you have food intolerances—decide in advance what you will or can eat. You can let your host know in advance about any food sensitivities or dietary restrictions you have so they do not feel “rejected” by your refusal to eat a certain dish(es). You can also decide if there are one or two specific dishes or alcoholic drinks in which you can indulge—without ill effect—whether it’s an extra helping of sweet potato pie, your grandmother’s famous boiled custard, or a cranberry mule. Decide in advance what “treats” you plan to enjoy—rather than indulge in the moment…only to have eater’s remorse for days to come.

If you are vegetarian or vegan and attending a non-vegetarian Thanksgiving gathering, you may want to bring a dish (or two) that you know you will feel comfortable eating. The same applies if you have any other dietary restrictions. For example, if you are following a gluten-free protocol, you may want to bring a dessert, as traditional dessert offerings are typically wheat flour-based.

Food can be a triggering topic. If you have found your way to better health, improved energy, and weight loss through your food choices, you may be in an evangelical mode about helping others “see” how their food choices can potentially change their life. The Thanksgiving table, however, is not the place to proselytize. Refrain from lecturing others about their food choices.

In the same way that you want others to respect your food choices, you have to respect others’ food choices—even if it goes against what you believe.

Keep in mind: people will only make changes around food and lifestyle if / when they are ready—not because you have told them that they need to stop eating sugar, carbs, or meat!

9.  Communicate boundaries clearly—and from an “I” perspective.

How you communicate a boundary can make a difference in being heard—or not. Always start from a place of “I feel”; then, say what you need or want. For example, “I feel uncomfortable when you share news about my ex-husband and the woman for whom he left me. I’m still hurting. Please don’t do that. I’d rather not know.”

Avoid making “You did XYZ” statements, like: “You never help out with the kids—even when I’m under the gun with project deadlines. You are so selfish! Can’t you see how stressed out I am?” The person on the receiving end of this statement hears an accusatory tone and criticism—and, as a result, tunes you out. You’re back to square one.

10. Exit stage left, gracefully—and early if necessary.

We can clearly communicate our boundaries to others. However, keep in mind: we cannot control how other people will respond to our boundaries. There may nasty pushback, feelings of hurt and resentment or utter disregard for your boundaries—no matter how thoughtfully worded or how clearly you’ve stated your limits. We can only control how we react to the negative behavior of others.

If boundary violations persist, you can always take your leave. Or, if the boundary offenders are visitors to your home, you can always ask them to leave.

Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable, yes. But they also give you the psychological freedom to be true to yourself. And that’s something for which you can be truly grateful.

In the Chinese zodiac, the tiger represents power, daring and a tendency to do everything on a grand scale. The tiger is associated with qualities, such as strength, boldness, passion and bravery.

This is why the theme of Tiger years is about going big (as in taking risks)—or going home.

The element of water adds another layer to this particular Tiger year. The water element represents wealth and health. So, while 2022 is a year that could bring financial abundance, it is also an important year to pay attention to your health.

Water Tiger years are also associated with strong and, at times, fluctuating emotions. Some people thrive amid chaos. So, on the positive side, you may finally have the courage to pursue a longtime passion (e.g., starting your own business). On the flip side, negative attributes associated with the water element are fear, tentativeness and indecisiveness, which can leave you feeling “stuck” in a job, relationship or circumstance.

Because tigers are quick to action, we can expect the Year of the Tiger to be filled with drama—whether in personal relationships, career or a political climate of unrest and/or upheaval.  So, be prepared for people, places, circumstances and situations to suddenly or radically change—without warning!

Wishing you an abundant, healthy and happy Year of the Tiger!

Valentine’s Day is synonymous with chocolate.

However, when you bake for someone else—romantic partner, friend or family member(s)—don’t assume that they want chocolate just because it’s Valentine’s Day! As a die-hard dark chocolate lover, myself, I learned the hard way that not everyone loves chocolate as much as I do.

When I recently served a friend what I thought was the perfect dessert: a slice of homemade chocolate layer cake, I noticed her ambivalence. Then, it dawned on me: “Do you like chocolate?” I asked. “Not really,” she said. Prodding further, I discovered that her favorite desserts were, in fact, custards, anything made with lots of lemon, and sticky toffee. Ouch!! Still, I welcomed her candor. After all, I don’t like cheese cake, bread pudding, macaroons or mud pie. If I am baking for someone else, I would hope to make something that gives them joy and pleasure.

The recipes below feature chocolate and non-chocolate-themed home-baked treats. These treats are gluten-free; sweetened judiciously with unprocessed, natural sweeteners (e.g., maple syrup, coconut sugar); contain a minimum amount of flour; and, incorporate whole food ingredients—no stabilizers or binders, like xanthan gum or guar gum, or sugar alcohols. Just real food!

If you are trying to limit your sugar intake, but still find it hard to pass up refined sugary treats, like cookies, brownies or pastries, making a healthier version of your favorite baked goods can be an important first step towards better health. Home-baked goods are a wonderful, special occasion gift and indulgence. That said: you can overeat homemade treats, especially when you think they’re “healthy”, so watch portion sizes. Less is more.

Why gluten-free?

According to Dr. Rodney Ford, a pediatrician, gastroenterologist, allergist and author of The Gluten Syndrome: at least one in 10 people are negatively affected by gluten, with up to 50% of people somewhere in the gluten-sensitivity spectrum (1, 2). In those who are gluten sensitive, or who are genetically susceptible, gluten triggers an inflammatory-immune response. Gluten sensitivity symptoms are not limited to the gut (e.g., IBS, constipation, diarrhea, ulcerative colitis, etc.); they can also manifest in the skin and nerve tissues: headaches/migraines, skin eruptions and rashes; ADHD, mood imbalances (anxiety/depression), joint pain and more (3, 4, 5).

I have been eating gluten-free (no wheat, no grains) for nearly a decade. Why? Because gluten triggers an immediate, inflammatory response in my body that manifests as brain fog, low energy, fatigue and depression (yes, gluten can negatively affect mood in a big way).

To be clear: eating “gluten-free” does not mean that you are eating “low carb”, “low sugar” or “low calorie” foods. Yes, eating gluten-free can help reduce inflammation in the body. But it does not mean that you can eat unlimited amounts of anything labeled “gluten-free”, especially if it is a flour-based, since your body identifies grains and starchy foods as “sugar”. Remember: a little goes a long way.

Gluten-Free Baking Tips

Are you feeling inspired to serve up some home-baked love?

If you’re a novice baker or an occasional baker (and even if you’re not!), you’ll want to review the following gluten-free baking tips before you tackle gluten-free baking. Unlike cooking, where you have more flexibility to swap out one ingredient for another, baking is precise and less amenable to substitutions.  Gluten-free baking requires some time, energy and attention to detail.  To ensure a successful and delicious outcome, click here to read these 11 gluten-free baking tips.

See Recipes for Gluten-Free Treats BELOW:

**Click on each photo for the recipe.

Coconut Flour Coffee Cake
Slow-Burn Buckwheat Gingerbread
Chilled Ginger Custard
Tigernut Flour Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Ganache
Lemon-Ginger Almond Cookies
Sweet Potato Brownies

Sources
^{1, 3}  Medical Hypotheses. Vol. 73, Issue 3, Sept. 2009, pp. 438-440.
²    VeryWell Health. Oct. 25, 2020
⁴    Gluten Free Society.
⁵    Gluten Free Society.

What is loneliness?

Scientists define loneliness as a subjective state of distress or discomfort about the perceived discrepancy between one’s desired level of social connection, and their actual level of social connection.¹  That is: you can be alone and not feel lonely. Conversely, you can be part of a large household or surrounded by people, yet feel exceedingly lonely.

This year, however, lockdowns; severe restrictions on travel, public gathering places (like restaurants) and private social gatherings; as well as a nationwide political divide, have deepened feelings of loneliness. As humans, we are experiencing an unprecedented collective loneliness—and on a global scale.

In the name of “safety”, businesses must now follow protocols that minimize human contact and human touch.

Where you might have once engaged in friendly banter with the barista who prepared your coffee, there is silence after you place your order (mask on). Maybe your favorite neighborhood eatery, where the staff (or patrons) felt like a surrogate ‘family’, is only open for takeout. Even taking a walk in an urban area can feel fraught with tension as people give one another wide berth to avoid “catching” anything. Our routines, from food shopping to using public transportation, are done mostly in silence (masks) and with minimal human engagement.

Yet, this lack of human contact also feeds feelings of isolation, fear, anxiety…and loneliness. This is understandable: humans are social creatures who crave connection. It starts at birth. A newborn, completely deprived of parental physical contact, can literally die. When babies are not regularly held, hugged or nuzzled by a parent, they can experience developmental delays or a general failure to thrive.^{2, 3, 4}

Feelings of isolation and loneliness during the pandemic have profoundly affected both young and old.

Loneliness and Young Adults

A new national survey, looking at how young American adults, aged 18 to 35, were affected by the COVID-19 pandemic, reveals “significant depressive symptoms” in 80% of participants.⁵

The results, published in the Journal of Psychoactive Drugs at end-October, found that “alarming” levels of loneliness are associated with significant mental health issues; 61% of respondents reported “moderate” to “severe” anxiety.⁶

Researchers looked at the direct effects of both loneliness and social connectedness on depression, anxiety, alcohol use, and drug use. They also looked at the indirect effects of loneliness and social connectedness on alcohol and drug use, as it related to working through anxiety and depression. They also characterized relationships in pre-COVID and post-COVID behaviors and psychosocial symptomatology.

Those who reported increased feelings of loneliness also indicated an increase in: ⁷
♦  Alcohol consumption: 58%
♦  Drug use: 56%
♦  Anxiety: 76%
♦  Depression: 78%
♦  Feeling less connected: 58%

Alcohol has often been used as way to cope with loneliness. Most respondents (80%) reported drinking alcohol, with 30% revealing harmful and dependent levels of drinking.Participants admitted to binge drinking: 19% of respondents reported binge drinking at least once a week, and 44% reported binge drinking at least once a month.⁸

Overall, nearly half (49%) of respondents reported a “great degree of loneliness”. ⁹

Loneliness and Older Adults

A national poll of older adults, aged 50 to 80, conducted by the National Poll on Healthy Aging,found that the pandemic magnified feelings of loneliness. Compared to a similar poll conducted in 2018, a higher proportion of older adults in 2020 felt a lack of companionship (41% now vs. 34% in 2018); felt isolated (56% now vs. 27% in 2018); and had infrequent social contact (46% now vs. 28% in 2018).¹⁰

Long-term loneliness is a health hazard that can increase your risk of: ¹¹
◊  Accelerated aging
◊  Hypertension (high blood pressure)
◊  Heart disease
◊  Obesity
◊  Chronic inflammation, which is at the root of many health conditions and diseases, from diabetes, obesity and autoimmune diseases, to heart disease, stroke and cancer.
◊  Cognitive decline, dementia and Alzheimer’s.
◊  Poor sleep
◊  Alcohol abuse
◊  A weakened immune system
◊  Death

Making healthy food choices and lifestyle habits can positively affect your mental and emotional state. According to the National Poll on Healthy Aging, the majority of older adults (approximately 80%) who engaged in healthy behaviors during the first few months of the pandemic, such as getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet and exercising several times a week, were less likely to experience loneliness—than those who reported being in “fair” or “poor” physical health.¹²

The Impact of Prolonged Social Isolation 

That said, prolonged social isolation takes a toll on mind and body.

Consider prisoners who experience solitary confinement. Dr. Stuart Grassian, a board-certified psychiatrist and a former faculty member of Harvard Medical School, interviewed hundreds of prisoners in solitary confinement in various state and federal penitentiaries. What he found: solitary confinement can cause a specific psychiatric syndrome—similar to acute organic brain syndrome (i.e., delirium)—characterized by hallucinations; obsessive thoughts and ruminations; panic attacks; paranoia; loss of impulse control; hypersensitivity to external stimuli, like noise; and, problems with focus, concentration and memory.¹³

For many people, the recent lockdowns have felt like a form of solitary confinement. Not only can prolonged social isolation and loneliness contribute to—or worsen—anxiety and depression, it is associated with increased risk of suicide.¹⁴

I have personally seen the impact that prolonged social isolation has, especially on vulnerable populations. My mother, who is in her 80s, lives alone in an independent retirement community. She has her own apartment, but cannot walk out the door without wearing a mask (and she has problems breathing). The communal dining hall, where she once met friends for meals, has been closed since March. The shuttle that she takes to the grocery store requires reservations at least a week in advance and only allows 6 residents aboard at any given time. She once had an active social life. When I asked my mother if she still socialized with her friends, she said: “What’s the point? I cannot understand a word they’re saying when they are wearing masks!”  This fuels her sense of isolation, anxiety, powerlessness, and I have seen her health backslide. It is hard to witness.

Mask-wearing discourages human interaction, which increases feelings of loneliness and isolation. There is also plenty of room for misinterpretation when you speak while wearing a mask. One distressed mother shared how her 15-year-old son was savagely beaten at school because the other boys had misheard what her son was saying (mask on).

Though masks have been mandated in most states, studies suggest that their efficacy is questionable at best, especially for healthy people. In a randomized clinical trial that compared the efficacy of cloth masks versus medical masks in hospital settings where health care workers were at high risk of being exposed to respiratory infections, researchers found that rates of all infection outcomes were highest with cloth masks. ¹⁵  In fact, the researchers concluded: “The results caution against the use of cloth masks. This is an important finding to inform occupational health and safety. Moisture retention, reuse of cloth masks and poor filtration may result in increased risk of infection.” ¹⁶

Personally, as someone who advocates for health and wellness, I choose not to wear a mask one second longer than absolutely necessary (e.g., in a store, medical appointments), and I do not wear a mask outdoors. In addition to restricting oxygen intake and rebreathing your own carbon dioxide, the typical blue medical face mask contains the chemical toxin PTFE (polytetrafluoroethylene, a.k.a. Teflon).¹⁷  No thank you.

This video by Tammy Herrema Clark is particularly illuminating on the topic of masks. Clark has worked for OSHA (Occupational Safety & Health Administration) and is a Personal Protective Equipment expert. So, too, is this article, where medical television producer, Del Bigtree, measures the CO2 toxicity in his son’s mask. Dr. Peter Breggin, a Harvard-trained psychiatrist and former consultant to the National Institute of Mental Health, outlines the adverse effects of mask-wearing for both mental and physical health in this point-by-point article.

According to Dr. Breggin: “While impeding person-to-person transmission is key to limiting the outbreak, so far little importance has been given to the events taking place after a transmission has happened, when [our own body’s] innate immunity plays a crucial role. The main purpose of the innate immune response is to immediately prevent the spread and movement of foreign pathogens throughout the body. The innate immunity’s efficacy is highly dependent on the viral load. If face masks determine a humid habitat where the SARS-CoV-2 can remain active due to the water vapour continuously provided by breathing and captured by the mask fabric, they determine an increase in viral load and therefore they can cause a defeat of the innate immunity and an increase in infections.” ¹⁸

Please do not construe the information I share as “medical advice” or a “political statement”. I am sharing information from published studies in medical journals and information from top health experts; you decide.

The Antidote to Loneliness?

Human connection.

Social isolation and loneliness can take a tremendous toll on our minds and bodies.

In a time of lockdowns, restrictions and social distancing, what does human connection look like?

I live on a road where, when I take my daily walk, I come into contact with people—both neighbors and strangers—who are not wearing masks. I make direct eye contact. I smile and wave. Time permitting (for either party), I stop and engage in conversation: I listen more than I talk; I am fully present, not distracted by my phone—or anything else in my environment. I respect others’ physical space: if someone is more comfortable standing further apart, I respect this. If someone wants to move closer to me and/or hug me, I do not recoil from contact because I have confidence in my own immune system, and I do not regard humans as “contagion”.

For me, human connection has looked like this these last few months:
–When 5-year old Aidan called out to me from his driveway, I walked over and watched him take a spin in his pedal car as he chatted enthusiastically a mile a minute.
–My neighbor Dag gave me valuable tips for buying a generator, showing me the one on the side of his house, and connecting me with an electrician friend of his.
–When I ran into another neighbor at his mailbox, he smiled and introduced himself (he has lived on my road for many years, but we never made contact.) We ended up having a conversation about bird-watching, running and the gut microbiome!
–On another day, two pre-teen girls from the neighborhood excitedly shared the story of their bike ride to an abandoned house.
–After an older neighbor and I talked about his Parkinson’s symptoms, and when I offered a few food/lifestyle suggestions that he could make, he gave me a big hug. As my neighbor is a tough guy stoic, I was touched by his sweet gesture.

Obviously, if you are coming down with a cold, flu or other virus; feel sick and/or experiencing symptoms; feel unwell in any way; or, if you are immunocompromised, stay at home. Take good care of yourself, and do not expose yourself to others.

How to Create Connection

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. –Maya Angelou

Like anything else, creating human connection starts with mindset.

One important mindset shift in creating connection is to choose faith over fear. Living in a constant state of low-grade (or high-level) fear and anxiety weakens your immune system, making you more susceptible to viruses and bacteria. Energetically, what we fear the most is often what we tend to attract.  How we perceive the outside world starts with cultivating awareness about what is going on inside of ourselves. To this end:

1. Be discerning about your news consumption.

Today’s 24/7 news cycle literally assaults viewers with a barrage of negativity, fueling anxiety, fear, overwhelm and feelings of powerlessness. Like processed foods, news headlines are click bait, designed to keep you hooked and wanting more.

Humans naturally have a negativity bias; meaning, the human brain is wired to detect threats, so it will pay more attention to negative or scary information that could potentially help avoid a harmful situation.¹⁹  However, overconsuming gloom-and-doom news stories can take a toll on your mental and physical health. In a study published in the British Journal of Psychology, researchers found that participants who were only exposed to negative television news bulletins experienced greater levels of anxiety and sadness; this translated to these same participants experiencing a significant increase in worrisome thoughts about their own lives.²⁰

2. Get comfortable being with yourself.

I know…this collective “time out” was not our choice. Yet, alone time, even amidst chaos, can be enjoyable. Meditation, nature walks, painting, playing or listening to music, reading, writing or journaling, woodworking projects—or anything that gets your creative juices flowing—can all be sources of enjoyment, relaxation and inspiration. As Dr. Vivek Murthy, author of The Healing Power of a Sometimes Lonely World, advises: “Embrace solitude. The first step toward building stronger connections with others is to build a stronger connection with yourself.”

3. Prioritize self-care.

Feeling blue can trigger a compulsion to fill the void with anything that takes the edge off the loneliness. Those struggling with loneliness are more likely to engage in risky and addictive self-medicating behaviors: smoking; drinking alcohol to excess; overeating (anything and everything!); having unprotected hook-up sex or cybersex; doing recreational drugs (pot, vaping); and, being addicted to the internet.^{21, 22}

While these activities may feel good in the moment, they often have physical and emotional consequences—and, ultimately, leave you feeling even more empty and lonely afterward. The impact of chronic loneliness is associated with physical health problems, including heart disease, high blood pressure and stroke, as well as a higher risk of early death.²³

Instead: focus on taking very good care of yourself. Sleep is key to balanced mood: go to bed before midnight and get enough sleep (7 to 9 hours). Eat nutrient-dense, real food meals; and, if you have the energy, cook a few simple meals. Practice deep breathing. Go outside and get fresh air and sunlight. Take walks. Engage in exercise you enjoy (and have the energy for), whether it’s yoga, Pilates or weight-lifting. If you feel “stuck”, work with a functional health coach or therapist to help you move forward. Limit processed foods, sugar, caffeine and alcohol, all of which have mood-altering effects and can worsen anxiety and depression. Avoid binge-drinking. And avoid foods that trigger binge-eating.

When you consistently practice self-care, you create a healthy physical foundation, which boosts immunity, increases your faith in your body’s strength and resilience—and lessens fear and anxiety. By connecting with yourself in ways that are physically and emotionally nourishing, you are better able to connect with others. How well we connect with ourselves is a good predictor of how well we will connect with others.

4. Choose to see people as human beings—not as deadly contagion.

When we interact with others, the smallest of human gestures contributes to positive energy that fosters connection. Smile. Make eye contact. Wave. Speak in a friendly tone.

Yes, COVID-19 is real. Studies have shown the most acute cases of COVID-19 and/or requiring hospitalization with COVID-19 are strongly associated with co-morbidities, such as obesity, hypertension, diabetes, heart disease and lung disease—all conditions of chronic inflammation. The good news? You can be proactive in reducing inflammation through these food and lifestyle modifications.

And more good news! Even if you test positive for COVID-19, the survival rate is very high: 99.98 to 99.5 if you are under age 70. According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control & Prevention), the Infection Fatality Ratio (IFR) of COVID-19 refers to the number of people who die “of the disease among all infected individuals (symptomatic and asymptomatic).”  When the IFR estimate—stated as a percentage of all those infected (symptomatic and asymptomatic) who are surviving—the breakout by age is: ²⁴
0-19 years:  99.997%
20-40 years:  99.98%
50-69 years:  99.5%
70+ years:  94.6%
*80+ not included

5. Take the time to really listen.

There is an art to listening, which is essential for creating meaningful human connection. Here are a few tips.

–Slow down. Be mindful not to interrupt someone in the middle of expressing a thought, especially if they are older adults. Not everyone talks in sound bites. Let someone fully express their thoughts before responding.

–Get curious. When someone starts to share a story or experience, don’t assume that you know how their story ends and jump right into problem solving—as in: “Yeah, yeah, yeah…so, here’s what you do.”  Instead get curious. Ask questions in a non-judgmental way, like: “What happened next?”; “What do you think you’re going to do?”; or, “How do you feel about that?”  Try reflective listening by repeating back what you think the other person is saying: “So, even though you’ve been diagnosed with this complicated health condition, you’re saying that you feel emotionally lighter and freer than you have in a long time…am I understanding you correctly?”

–Be fully present. Do not multitask when you are conversing with someone else. Our brains are wired to do one task at a time efficiently, and multi-tasking while talking with someone (e.g., driving while on a call; Google searching topics or scrolling through social media during a video chat or phone call) means that you are not fully present. And, frankly, it’s disrespectful. How can you be fully present in a conversation?  Make eye contact. Listen to what someone says—without interrupting, interjecting, or thinking about how you intend to respond.

–Allow space for vulnerability.  No matter what you see on Instagram, nobody has a “perfect” life. We create connection when we allow others to see our humanity and give them space to share theirs. If it feels natural and appropriate, have the courage to be vulnerable (e.g., “When I started taking care of my sick father—after we had been estranged for many years—I found myself feeling resentful, so I started seeing a therapist.”).

6. Write a letter.

The power of writing a letter cannot be underestimated. Having written poetry and short stories as a child for the elementary school paper, then, later becoming a well-published freelance writer, I am someone who believes in the power of the written word. When you write a letter, you put time, energy and thought into what you want to communicate. Being authentic or vulnerable can sometimes feel easier when you write a letter. As mementos, letters are a snapshot in time, to which you can always return. And…your handwriting is a personal, tangible part of yourself that you impart on paper—this cannot be replicated in an email or text. I, for one, have always enjoyed receiving handwritten letters; it is a very intimate form of communication and cultivates connection.

Sources:
¹  Psychology Today.
²  Psychology Today. Mar 1, 2010
³  Pediatrics & Child Health. Vol. 15, Issue 3, Mar 2010, pp. 153-156.
⁴  Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience. Vol. 35, Feb. 2019, pp. 5-11.
^{5, 6, 7, 9}  Journal of Psychoactive Drugs. Oct. 28, 2020
^{10, 12} National Poll on Healthy Aging. Sept. 14, 2020
¹¹  Annals of Behavioral Medicine. Oct. 2010. Vol 40, Issue 2, pp. 218-227.
¹³  Madrid vs. Gomez. Sept. 1993, 889F. Supp. 1146.
¹⁴  Journal of Affective Disorder. Feb 15, 2019, Vol. 245, pp. 653-667.
^{15, 16}  BMJ Open. Infectious Diseases Research. Mar 2015.
¹⁷  Health Impact News. Oct. 27, 2020.
¹⁸  Life Site. Nov. 12, 2020.
¹⁹  Psychological Bulletin. May 2008; 134(3); 383-403.
²⁰  British Journal of Psychology. 13 April 2011.
^{21, 23}  Journal of Family Violence. Nov. 2020
²²  Addictive Behaviors Report. Vol. 10, Dec. 2019
²⁴  NBC 26. Oct. 20, 2020.

Yes, the gift of good health starts your kitchen.

I know, I know. You don’t have time. You don’t have the energy to cook after work. You have a tiny NYC kitchen (so do I, by the way!). You resent the idea of having to cook for yourself when there are over 24,000 restaurants in New York City. You want food when you’re hungry—and not a second later.

Yet…the benefits of eating more home-cooked meals are undeniable.

Eating more meals prepared at home is associated with:
–A higher probability that your BMI will be in the “normal” range.¹
–A greater likelihood that your body fat percentage will be in the “normal” range.²
–Eating more fruits and vegetables.³
–Less weight gain.⁴
–Lower risk of Type 2 diabetes.⁵
–Lower risk of obesity.⁶
–Less exposure to harmful industrial chemicals, like PFAS (Per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances), which, with its non-stick, grease- and water-proof and stain resistant properties, is often used in fast food and restaurant food packaging.⁷

Bottom line: eating more meals prepared at home—vs. meals prepared outside the home (especially fast food)—can help lower your risk of overweight / obesity and diabetes.

And here’s the really good news: a study published in the American Journal of Preventative Medicine found that people who cook at home more often tend to have healthier overall diets WITHOUT higher food expenses!⁸  Conversely, frequently eating out was associated with a lower-quality diet and higher food costs (yes, you spend more money eating out!).

When it comes to cooking at home, you have myriad resources at instant disposal: any recipe that you want is available to you online, as are how-to videos. In my practice, the biggest obstacle to cooking at home is not having basic tools that make cooking easy, quick and efficient.

Gift yourself—or someone you love—kitchen tools that can help change your body, mind and mood for the better.

THE BASICS

Measuring Cups (Dry ingredients).
These are essential for measuring ingredients, like flour, sugar or nuts, that you use for baking. If you are trying to increase your fiber intake, these measuring cups are a great tool for measuring vegetable intake: 1 cup = 1 serving raw vegetables or leafy greens; 1/2 cup = 1 serving cooked vegetables, like steamed broccoli or green beans.

Glass Measuring Cups (Fluids).
Glass measuring cups should never be used to measure dry ingredients. These are most accurate for measuring fluids for ingredients that go into smoothies, soups, baked goods—even tracking your own daily water intake.

Stainless Steel Measuring Spoons.
For precision cooking or baking, use quality measuring spoons, especially if you are a newbie cook or baker. Don’t try to wing it because too much or too little of an essential ingredient can make or break a dish. Use measuring spoons for dry and liquid ingredients, including coconut oil, olive oil, dried herbs, Celtic sea salt and spices.

Cutting Board.
This organic bamboo cutting board is eco-friendly, sturdy, easy to clean and can be used for cutting (or presenting) vegetables, meat and/or fruit.

Mesh Colander.
Ideal for draining pasta, quinoa, beans or vegetables, from green beans to leafy greens.

Vegetable Peeler.
Whether you plan on drinking a lot of celery juice, roasting root vegetables or adding pretty vegetable shavings to salads, a vegetable peeler is a handy tool to have at-the-ready.

Stainless Steel Citrus Juicer.
I prefer an old-fashioned manual citrus juicer to a hand-held citrus reamer or electric juicer. It’s simple, no-fuss—and you get a little strength workout! My citrus juicer is a kitchen staple for fresh-squeezed lemon juice that I use for everything from a simple morning lemon-water, to homemade pesto, marinades and vinaigrettes, to tenderizing poultry and fish, and flavoring roasted vegetables.

Box Grater.
A box grater is handy for zesting citrus, like lemon or orange peel, shredding vegetables, like zucchini, carrots and cucumber, or for grating aromatics, like gingerroot or turmeric root.

Whisks.
I can’t imagine cooking in a kitchen without whisks. Small whisks are great for emulsifying vinaigrettes. Medium to larger-sized whisks work well for mixing dry ingredients for pancakes, quick breads or other baked goods, as well as for blending sauces of any kind (stovetop), from a homemade barbecue sauce to a chocolate sauce. Just be sure to hand-wash a whisk (versus putting them in the dishwasher).

Spatulas.
These BPA-free, heat-resistant spatulas of varying sizes make it easy to scrape down ingredients; fold dry ingredients into wet; flip an omelet or frost a cake.

Wooden Spoons.
Choose naturally BPA-free wooden spoons—over plastic—for mixing and stirring during cooking and baking.

Tongs.
Tongs are another indispensable tool in my kitchen. Though tongs are synonymous with grilled food, I use them for everyday vegetable cookery, to flip bacon, for salads (in lieu of salad servers) and for turning and plating meat, fish and poultry.

Stainless Steel Ladle.
If you’re planning on making and/or eating more soups, stews or ragouts, this is the perfect quality all-purpose ladle. Or, it makes a great gift for a healthy foodie.

Salad spinner.
If you want to incorporate more raw, leafy greens into your diet, a salad spinner is a must. Before I owned a salad spinner, washing greens for a salad was an arduous, time-consuming task that often resulted in a soggy (and entirely unappetizing!) salad. You can also use a salad spinner to remove excess water from just-rinsed fresh herbs, rinsed, canned beans, fresh berries and cruciferous vegetables, like broccoli and cauliflower.

Vegetable Spiralizer.
Sure, you can buy pre-spiralized vegetables. But making (and eating) vegetable noodles, like zoodles (zucchini noodles) is a fun way to introduce healthy food preparation to kids and teens.  And it is a delicious way to enjoy nutrient-dense smart carbs, like sweet potato, carrot or beet noodles.

Stainless Steel Baking Sheets.  Swap out toxic non-stick or aluminum baking sheets for stainless steel baking sheets. Great for roasting vegetables, like asparagus, squash and sweet potatoes and for baking cookies.

Oven Mitts.
Handle hot food in style with this pair of cheery, eye-catching 100% cotton oven mitts.

Trivets.
Heat-resistant and 100% cotton; these add a pretty splash of color to your table and/or make a great hostess gift.

Pepper Mill.
Give the gift of freshly ground pepper (versus pre-ground black pepper, like McCormick’s), which can make or break a dish. Made in Maine, this hand-crafted (from raw log to finished product) wood pepper mill is both beautiful and functional. Makes a great addition to your kitchen or to give as a gift.

KNIVES

8-Inch Chef’s Knife.
A high-performing chef’s knife is an essential tool in an efficient kitchen. In addition to being sharp and versatile, this high-carbon German steel knife has a comfortable grip and is easy to handle. It is a perfect starter knife for tentative newbie home cooks. It’s also a gift that seasoned cooks will appreciate.

3.5-Inch Paring Knife.
A well-made, sharp paring knife easily navigates cutlery tasks that require accuracy and precision, from peeling an apple and coring a tomato, to trimming brussels sprouts, de-seeding bell peppers and peeling ginger.

19-Piece Knife Block Set.
This modest splurge is well worth the investment. In addition to a complete set of kitchen knives, this set includes a wood knife block and a set of 8 serrated steak knives.

POTS & PANS

Pre-Seasoned Cast Iron Skillet, 12-inch.  Many of my clients complain of low energy; iron deficiency is often a culprit. Cooking with cast iron can help naturally increase your intake of iron. It is also a great substitute for non-stick cookware, which contains synthetic, hormone-disrupting PFOA and PTFE.

12-inch Stainless Steel Skillet with Lid.
You can poach salmon and chicken in minutes with this versatile, non-toxic skillet that can go from stovetop to oven. No plastic handles. No hormone-disrupting PFOA (perfluorooctanoic acid) or PTFE (polytetrafluoroethylene) chemicals.

Le Creuset Signature Round Dutch Oven, 5-1/2 quart.
Another worthwhile splurge, this enameled cast-iron Dutch oven is an excellent, high quality cookware staple that can last a lifetime. (After 15 years, my two Le Creuset Dutch Ovens still look and work beautifully). It’s ideal for braising vegetables, roasting meets and slow-simmered soups and stews—a perfect kitchen tool, especially if you have digestive issues.

French Classic Tri-Ply Stainless Steel 10-Piece Cookware Set.
Made in France (yay!). Move away from non-stick cookware (i.e. anything Teflon) that may be made with potentially toxic poly- and perfluoroalkyl substances (PFAS), substances that release perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOA), a carcinogenic chemical, when heated. A high quality, stainless steel cookware set (pro: even heat distribution) will get a LOT of mileage in your kitchen. You’ll get great value for the investment, and it is much less costly than buying each piece individually.

Roasting pan. This is a seriously affordable name-brand stainless steel roasting pan that also comes with a removable stainless steel roasting rack. A perfect size for roasting turkey, chicken, other larger cuts of meat or vegetables.

APPLIANCES

Blender.
A classic kitchen appliance, a blender is ideal for making easy-to-digest soups, purees and smoothies. Choosing a blender with a glass blender jar also reduces your exposure to hormone-disrupting bisphenal-A (BPA).

Nutribullet.
Effectively pulverizes fruits and vegetables so you get maximum nutrition in smoothies and shakes. Plus, it’s easy to clean and easy to use.

Food Processor, 14-Cup.
Who has time for all that chopping?!  This is a workhorse kitchen tool in my kitchen that I use most days. I use it for everything, from mincing vegetables (e.g., onions, carrots, celery, zucchini) for soups, stews and ragus, to whipping up a white bean puree, fresh herb pesto or a batch of dairy-free “ice cream”.

Mini-Prep Food Processor.
Also, indispensable! This is a great tool for small-batch, food prep tasks: chopping shallots for a salad; making a small side of salsa; mincing garlic, ginger, or chilies.

Hand Mixer.
Find it hard to resist sweet treats? A healthier shift is to make your own (versus buying them out). A hand mixer is a handy tool for all your healthy baking needs—from muffins and breads, to cookies, brownies and cakes. Bonus: it comes with a sturdy storage case for the mixer and its attachments.

Slow Cooker.
Get a jumpstart on meals.  Add meat, vegetables and seasonings; set the timer, and dinner is ready when you get home.

Instant Pot.
This is a multi-tasking electric appliance, combining several appliances in one pot: pressure cooker, slow cooker, rice cooker, steamer, sauté pan, yogurt maker and warmer. Among its many uses: cooking large hunks of meat relatively quickly and deliciously (think pork shoulder or lamb shank) or a collagen-rich bone broth (great to have on hand through cold and flu season). You can also use it to make homemade chili, lentil soup, beans, soups, stews and risottos.

Nut Mylk / Nut Butter Maker.
If you are allergic or sensitive to dairy and choose to drink non-dairy nut mylks instead, good for you! However, many commercial nut mylks contain added sugars, sodium, “natural” flavors, preservatives, additives, binders and/or gums to thicken(e.g., gellan gum and guar gum)—not so good for you. In addition, the amount of nut nutrition that you are consuming in alternative mylks is nominal. For example, commercial packaged almond mylk contains only about 2% nuts; the “mylk” is mostly water, additives and/or flavoring. If you drink a lot of nut mylk, this mylk maker may be a worthwhile investment. By making your own mylk, you control what goes into your mylk and you reap actual nutritional benefits from drinking it. This mylk processor can make fresh, nutrient-dense plant-based milks—and butters—from nuts, seeds, legumes and grains.

FOOD STORAGE CONTAINERS

Non-Toxic Food storage containers.
This may not sound like a sexy gift(!), but plastic food containers—from our home kitchens, to takeout meals—are a common everyday source of BPA that can, over time, negatively affect our hormones and overall health. An excellent non-toxic alternative is glass. Pyrex is relatively inexpensive and widely available. I personally like glass storage containers with snap-on lids. These stainless steel containers with leakproof lids are great for brown bag lunches at the office or for kids’ lunches.

EATING CLEAN

Butcher Box.
High quality protein is essential for weight management and hormone balance. Now, you can have humanely raised, antibiotic-free, hormone-free 100% grass-fed (and grass-finished) meat, including chicken, delivered straight to your door. A monthly subscription service. Click here to check out your monthly subscription plan options here.

Smoothie Box.
Want to eat more vegetables and fruits—than you are now? These ready-to-blend frozen smoothies make it easy to up your quota. Each smoothie features one full serving of organic fruits and vegetables and collagen protein. Bonus: no added sugars! Click here to check out the Smoothie Box.

Thrive Market.
From high quality protein powders and bone broth, to gluten-free pastas, olive oil and baby foods, Thrive Market is a one-stop shop for top organic, non-GMO and non-toxic brands. A nominal annual membership fee gives you up to 50% off top organic brands.  New members get 25% off + free shipping on your first order when you sign up here.

Sources
^{1, 2, 3}       International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity. 2017; 14: 109
^{4, 5, 6}    PLOS | Medicine. July 5, 2016
⁷                Environmental Health Perspectives. Oct. 9, 2019. Vol 127. No. 10
⁸                American Journal of Preventative Medicine. May 2017. Volume 52, Issue 5, Pages 616–624

If you find yourself feeling lonely over the holidays, look at this as an opportunity to understand what is at the root of your loneliness and what you may need to pay attention to, or change in your life.

Some ways to cope:

1. Downsize your expectations.

It is hard not to have high expectations this time of year.  Many people feel pressured to live up to a Hallmark ideal of the holiday season.  After all, in advertisements, movies and songs, we are told this is “the most wonderful time of the year”…when everyone looks forward to spending time with family; when any rifts among family members or friends miraculously heal; or, when everyone has a fully booked social calendar. When you assume that everyone else—except you—is enjoying a “perfect” holiday, you are setting yourself up for feeling isolated and lonely.

How you experienced past holidays—good or bad—can also influence expectations.  It can be hard to let go of memories of the way things once were….when the kids willingly spent the holidays with you; when a civil discussion of current events and politics at family gatherings was actually possible; or, when a parent(s) was still mentally sharp.

When holiday plans don’t go as anticipated, people often cope by drinking too much alcohol, overeating, partying with abandon, or engaging in other reckless behaviors with the goal of suppressing their feelings—of rage, disappointment, anxiety or grief. Instead, allow yourself to feel your feelings and process them through talking, writing or a creative outlet. Or simply by removing yourself from a toxic environment.

Keep your expectations real. Be grateful for simple things the holiday may offer: much-needed downtime; a chance to sleep in, cook or take long walks; or spending quality time with family or friends you might not otherwise see.

2. Practice self-care.

We live in a culture of instant self-gratification. When you feel lonely, you may try to fill the void with alcohol, sugar, overeating (anything and everything!), electronic distractions, recreational drugs (pot, vaping), unprotected hook-up sex, or anything that takes the edge off the loneliness. These things may feel good in the moment, but they can have unexpected physical and emotional consequences—and, ultimately, leave you feeling even more lonely and empty in the long run.

Focus on taking very good care of yourself.  Go to bed at a reasonable time and get enough sleep (7 to 9 hours). Eat real food meals; if you have the energy, cook a few simple meals. Practice deep breathing. Go outside and get fresh air and sunlight. Take long walks. Engage in exercise you enjoy (and have the energy for), whether it’s yoga, Pilates or weight-lifting. Avoid binge-drinking. And avoid foods that trigger binge-eating.

3. Take time to download.

Understanding the root cause of your loneliness is key to overcoming it. If the cause of loneliness is death of a loved one, divorce, illness or some other major life change within the last year, allow yourself to grieve your loss—the holidays may simply fall into a transitional period of your life; you may not experience the best holiday season this year, and that’s okay. If the cause of loneliness is not feeling connected, appreciated, accepted or valued by your family or social circle, recognize that there may be areas that you need to work on; for example, setting healthy boundaries around your time, energy and availability; expressing yourself honestly and authentically; or learning to communicate in a way where you feel truly heard.

4. Give to yourself.

If you are an over-giver or a people-pleaser by nature, you are more likely to feel lonely. Are you the one who always takes your best friend out for her birthday, while she, on the other hand, has never done anything special to celebrate yours? Are you the one everyone calls when they need something—advice, a favor, a ride, a cheerleader—yet no one shows up for you when you need help or support?  Not only does constantly giving to others—without receiving acknowledgement, gratitude or appreciation—heighten feelings of loneliness, it is energetically depleting and can take a toll on your physical and emotional health.

Take the pressure off yourself to look after everyone else’s needs. Prioritize doing things that you enjoy, whether it’s sleeping in until noon, yoga, meditation, weight training, seeing a movie or simply NOTHING!

5. Seek support.

It seems like an obvious solution, but pride, shame, fear and anxiety can prevent those of us who need support the most—from asking for it. It is okay to be vulnerable. Maybe you assume that your best friend, husband/wife, partner or sister should automatically “know” what you need, but people are not mind readers—even those who we think know us best.  If you are going through a particularly dark and lonely period in your life, allow yourself to be vulnerable: seek help; ask for what you need; or, be willing to receive offers of help.

That said, if you are in a transitional period of your life (e.g., caretaker for a parent with dementia, recently widowed, recovering food addict, etc.), and you feel disconnected from your social circle because they are unwilling or unable to understand your circumstances, you can look for connection and guidance through a support group, volunteer group, group workshops or a therapist.

If you have the means, consider treating yourself to a healing-themed holiday. For example, going to a yoga and meditation weekend retreat, a therapeutic writing workshop, or a healing from trauma workshop can put you in contact with other people who are moving through pain and/or change in their life, and who may be able to provide the connection you seek.

6. Stop comparing yourself to others.

We all do this.  Comparing yourself to the “perfect” holiday that you imagine everyone else is experiencing only feeds feelings of inadequacy, depression and loneliness.

One of the most important lessons that I have learned in life and through my work is that how people appear on the outside (e.g., successful, powerful, in control, happy, beautiful, “having it all”, “perfect”) often does not match how they feel on the inside (e.g., insecure, anxious, feeling “less than”).  In other words, you cannot judge a book by its cover.

If you are feeling lonely, this is a good time to do a news media detox, which relentlessly commercializes the holiday season. It is also a good time to take a break from Facebook and Instagram. Comparing your holiday to what other people post—carefully curated images that range from “perfect” holiday meals to happy family gatherings—only exacerbates feelings of sadness and isolation.

7. Sleep on it!

There really is much truth to this old adage.

Getting enough sleep, as well as restorative, quality sleep is critical to optimal health. In one study, men and women who participated in one week of mild sleep restriction (for example, sleeping 6 hours instead of 8 hours) experienced increased inflammation in their bodies, evidenced by elevated inflammatory markers, such as high sensitivity C-reactive protein and interleukin.¹¹  Chronic inflammation is associated with diabetes, heart disease and arthritis, chronic inflammation and cancer.¹² 

Sleep loss is associated with low mood, increased anxiety and greater feelings of loneliness.⁷ A 2018 study published in Nature Communications found that participants who were sleep deprived—both in quantity (e.g., not sleeping enough hours) and quality (e.g., multiple awakenings throughout the night) of sleep—were likely to not socially engage with others; they also reported feeling more lonely. In turn, those who came in contact with these sleep-deprived individuals judged them as being significantly more lonely and chose not to socialize with them.⁸  Bottom line: sleep loss can make you feel more lonely and more likely to avoid social contact; at the same time, your sleep deprived persona can repel others from wanting to socialize with you.

Establish a good sleep routine. Go for a short walk in the morning to expose yourself to natural light, which helps you produce melatonin so that you can fall asleep more easily at night. Avoid sleep disruptors: caffeine, alcohol, sugar, processed foods. Eat your last meal at least 3 hours before you go to bed. Unplug: remove all electronics, including the television, from your bedroom.

8. Work towards creating closeness.

We all seek connection and closeness—that person who understands us so well and cares deeply about us. “Knowing and caring” are what San Francisco-based relationship coach Kira Asatryan considers essential qualities that characterize “closeness”.  In her book Stop Being Lonely, Asatryan writes: “When a relationship lacks closeness, you’ll sense that the other person doesn’t really know you and/or doesn’t really care about you. Loneliness is essentially sadness caused by a lack of closeness, also known as sadness, caused by distance. This is why it doesn’t work to simply surround yourself with people. You must actually feel close to them.”

Years ago, in my 20s, friends introduced me to a guy who they thought was “perfect” for me: he was a lawyer, into health and loved food. When we met, he said: “You remind me of my ex-girlfriend.” That should have been a blazing red flag! I wasn’t terribly attracted to him, but I wanted a boyfriend, so I continued to see him. As it turned out, his being “into health” meant that he was a strict vegetarian (I’m someone for whom a meal isn’t a meal unless there’s meat or fish!); “loving food” meant that he loved eating designer pizza (I am an adventurous eater, and I’ve never cared for pizza—even in my 20s); and his idea of a romantic date was going to a piano bar (I loathe live piano music).

Besides the obvious differences, I felt like he was trying to recreate the relationship that he had had with his ex-girlfriend; he was not tuned into who I really was (or what I liked), nor did I feel valued or accepted for who I was. I felt very lonely in that relationship, and when I broke up with him, I felt happy to be free—and myself—again.
This is why the holidays can feel lonely. Maybe family or friends freeze-frame you at a certain point in your life—for example, that wild, partying and irresponsible teenager—and they continue interacting with you as though you are still 17—not 25, 32 or 40—no matter what your accomplishments. They may care about you, but they do not know you.

Spending time with someone does not mean that you “know” them. To create closeness, Asatryan emphasizes, you have to understand how someone sees themselves—not how you see them. Being concerned about someone is not the same as caring about them. To show “caring”, you want to let the other person know that you are interested, engaged and invested in their well-being—and communicate that he or she matters to you.

If a lack of closeness is at the root of your loneliness over the holidays, you can do one of two things. Minimize contact with family, friends or acquaintances who make you feel lonelier and sadder. Or, if they have expressed a desire to feel closer to you, consider being your mo­st authentic self when you spend time with them; and, in turn, be open and receptive to knowing and caring about them.­

9. Get through the day.

Sometimes, we have to honor our feelings. If you prefer to spend the holidays riding out your loneliness in solitude, it helps to have a plan, whether it’s going out for a meal, taking a day trip, or going to the movies. If you have committed to spending time with people, who always make you feel sad and lonely, plan a well-timed exit strategy, if necessary.

With all the marketing hype, it can be hard to remember that Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve are each one day (24 hours!). If you dread feeling lonely on one of those holidays, remember that it is just ONE day and all you have to do is to get through it.
 

Read:  Loneliness and the Holidays (Part 1)

You are not alone.

Loneliness among Americans is now at an all-time high.

In a loneliness study, published in International Psychogeriatrics, researchers found that, among 340 San Diego residents aged 27 to 101, 75% of participants reported feeling moderate to high levels of loneliness. The study participants were “regular” people—not considered to be at high risk for loneliness; they did not suffer from physical disorders or mental illness.¹ It appears, too, that loneliness is felt most acutely during three specific periods in adulthood—your late 20s, mid-50s and late-80s.²

A national survey of 20,000 American adults (aged 18 and older), conducted by Cigna, the health service company, revealed that nearly half of Americans sometimes or always feel alone or left out. One in 4 Americans rarely feels that there are people who really understand them. Two in 5 Americans feel that their relationships are not meaningful. And Generation Z (born from 1997 onward) seems to be the loneliest generation, claiming to be in worse health than previous generations.³

How Loneliness Affects Your Health

Loneliness is a subjective feeling. Scientists define loneliness as feelings of social isolation due to “the perceived discrepancy between one’s desired level of social connection—and their actual level of social connection.”  That is: you can be alone and not feel lonely. Conversely, you can have a busy social life, where you are constantly surrounded by people—yet, feel exceedingly lonely.

Long-term loneliness is also a health hazard that can increase your risk of:⁴
» Accelerated aging
» Hypertension (high blood pressure)
» Obesity
» Heart disease
» A weaker immune system
» Chronic inflammation, which is at the root of many health conditions and diseases, from diabetes, obesity and autoimmune diseases, to heart disease, stroke and cancer.
» Cognitive decline, dementia and Alzheimer’s.
» Poor sleep
» Alcohol abuse
» Death

Why We Feel Lonely

Throw the holiday season into the mix, and feelings of loneliness can intensify ten-fold.

Loneliness hits particularly hard during the holidays for many reasons, including (but not limited to):
» Being newly separated or divorced.
» Being estranged from family (by choice—or not).
» Not feeling connected, accepted or valued by the people you are with.
» Living with a spouse / partner / family member who is struggling with alcohol or drug abuse.
» Living with a spouse / partner / family member who is struggling with a mental health issue: depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc.
» Living with a spouse / partner / family member who is dealing with a chronic health condition or terminal disease.
» Feeling bereft of a romantic relationship.
» Having moved to a new town, city or country.
» The death of a loved one.
» Leaving behind a toxic relationship(s).
» Existential loneliness: feeling a lack of purpose or meaning in life.
» Feeling stuck in a job you hate; a relationship you don’t know how to leave; or a social circle you have outgrown.
» Adopting new food choices or lifestyle practices that support your health and well-being that family or friends may not understand, approve or support. For example, you may start eating a wheat-free, gluten-free diet; or, choose to be “sober-curious”—deciding that you don’t need to drink alcohol in order to fit in with your friends or colleagues.

Continue Reading This Article (Part 2):  9 Ways to Cope with Holiday Loneliness (Part 2)

In my twenties, for example, receiving (or giving) health or wellness-themed gifts were the furthest thing from my mind.

I remember eagerly unwrapping the first Christmas gifts from my then-boyfriend of six months. What I got: a 3-piece stainless steel cookware set and a pair of “old lady”-style snow boots with fur trim. Were these gifts practical and functional? Yes. But…I had been anticipating romantic-themed gifts—beautiful flowers, an Italian leather handbag, lingerie, or a surprise trip to someplace warm. So, I was dismayed—and unable to contain my disappointment! At the time, I was a hard-core fashionista who seldom cooked; these gifts felt about as “romantic” as a state-of-the-art vacuum cleaner that a well-meaning husband might give his wife on their 10th wedding anniversary, assuming that she would LOVE it!

Over time, however, my holiday rituals and gift-giving (and gift requests) have evolved in a way to better support my health, especially after being diagnosed with hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) and adrenal exhaustion in 2013. I learned that some of my favorite holiday traditions were causing me to get sick, have allergy attacks, experience digestive distress, or hormone imbalances, like brain fog, low energy or constant fatigue.

These included:
–Having a live Christmas tree in the house through New Year’s. Decorating a just-chopped Christmas tree was a beloved holiday tradition that we regrettably had to stop once I discovered that live Christmas trees are carriers of mold and triggered my mold allergies during the holiday season. Click here to read my story.).
–Eating cookies, muffins and pies that I baked, myself, throughout the holiday season contributed to low energy and low immunity. The wheat, gluten and sugar in homemade pastries (which I usually ate for breakfast) also caused blood sugar imbalances, resulting in exhaustion, mood swings, sugar cravings and brain fog.
–Inhaling synthetically scented candles, bath products and toiletries, while shopping at big box stores, like Bed, Bath & Beyond, triggered raging headaches and left me exhausted from the toxic exposure.
–Eating dairy, including cheese and yogurt, caused digestive distress, sinus congestion and sinus infections.
–Buying commercial brands (even upscale designer brands) of cosmetics, moisturizers or lotions as gifts for others (or for myself) was exposing the user to endocrine-disrupting chemicals.

Once I know something can cause hormone imbalances or poor health, I cannot ignore what I know. And, it simply doesn’t feel right (or good) to gift others—or myself—with something could be contributing to a state of unwellness in some way.

Fast forward to this holiday season (2018)…I have dropped broad hints to my husband about how much I would love receiving this air purifier as a Christmas gift!

Achieving optimal health is an ever-evolving journey of choices that you make around food, lifestyle, habits and mindset. Whether your health goal is to balance your hormones (so that you have more energy, lose weight more easily, have clear skin, or sleep better); to improve digestion (and say good-bye to acid reflux, constipation, diarrhea, etc.); or to reduce or eliminate uncomfortable symptoms (like joint pain, eczema or migraines), every choice—no matter how big or small—adds up.

The following are holiday gift ideas that can help you take small or big steps toward achieving your health goals (or those of someone you love).

Weight Management & Hormone Balance

Glucometer + One Touch Test Strips + Lancets. Managing your blood sugar is the cornerstone of optimal health. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), over 100 million Americans have diabetes or pre-diabetes and are at increased risk for chronic disease and conditions. Take your power back by regularly checking your blood sugar and correcting course, if necessary, with food choices and lifestyle habits.

Scale with weight + body fat%.  An excellent, reliable scale; I’ve had mine for 10 years, and it’s still going strong!

Measuring tape. When it comes to weight management, hormone balance and overall health, your weight only tells part of the story. It is also important to use a measuring tape to familiarize yourself with your body measurements, especially waist size.  A large waist circumference can indicate insulin resistance and inflammation.

Pedometer (Basic).  This basic step counter is a no-frills, low-tech way to track movement. No Bluetooth, smart phone or computer download required. Simply wear on a lanyard around your neck. Its clear, large-print display enables easy viewing of total steps, making it an ideal step tracker for children, adults and the elderly.

Allergies

Air Purifier.  As someone who has struggled with severe seasonal allergies (especially spring allergies), as well as allergies to mold, pollen, animal dander and cigarette smoke, this air purifier, which effectively removes all of the above and more, is high on my personal Christmas gift wish list! I’m very excited about its UltraHEPA, which can capture 99.99% of fine particulate matter (PM 2.5), an air pollutant that that reduces visibility and, at high levels, contribute to hazy visibility.

Neti Pot.  Regularly flushing out your nasal passages with a salt water rinse (contained in a neti pot) can be very beneficial if you suffer from allergies, post-nasal drip, sinus infections or frequent colds. This hand-crafted ceramic neti pot is lead-free and aesthetically pleasing too.  One reminder: always use sterilized water (boiled filtered water that has cooled to room temperature or distilled water) for the saline solution; never use tap water or bottled water.

Gut Health

Tongue Scraper.  Your oral health can directly affect your gut health and vice versa. When you sleep, especially if you snore and/or have sleep apnea, bad bacteria accumulates on your tongue. Scraping your tongue as soon as you wake up is a great way to prevent bad bacteria from ending up in your gut; it also instantly helps freshen breath.

Probiotic.  A high-quality probiotic can help grow a garden of good bacteria in your gut. I like this high quality Probiotic 50B because it is hypoallergenic, dairy-free and soy-free.

Bone Broth.  Bone broth can help heal digestive issues, as well support joint and skin health. This high-quality bone broth is long-simmered (20+ hours), using only 100% grass-fed beef bones or organic chicken bones, organic vegetables and organic herbs.

Blender.  A classic kitchen appliance, a blender is ideal for making easy-to-digest soups, purees and smoothies. Choosing a blender with a glass blender jar also reduces your exposure to hormone-disrupting bisphenal-A (BPA).

Nutribullet.  Effectively pulverizes fruits and vegetables so you get maximum nutrition in smoothies and shakes. Plus, it’s easy to clean and easy to use.

Healthy Cooking

Vegetable Spiralizer.  Budding kid (or adult) cooks will get a kick out of “noodling around” with a spiralizer. Transforming vegetables, like carrots, beets, sweet potatoes or zucchini (“zoodles”) into vegetable “noodles” is a fun and delicious way to enjoy a low(er) carb lifestyle. A spiralizer is a staple in my kitchen!

All-Clad Stainless Steel 12-inch Fry Pan with Lid.  You can poach salmon and chicken in minutes with this versatile non-toxic skillet that can go from stovetop to oven.  No plastic handles.  No hormone-disrupting PFOA (perfluorooctanoic acid)or PTFE (polytetrafluoroethylene) chemicals.

Enamel Cast Iron Dutch Oven (5-1/2 quart).  A worthwhile splurge, this enameled cast iron Dutch oven is an excellent, high quality cookware staple that can last a lifetime (I have two; after 15 years, they still look and work beautifully).  It is ideal for braising vegetables, roasting meats, ragus, and slow-simmered soups and stews—a perfect kitchen tool, especially if you have digestive issues.Ideal for everyday cooking.

Instant Pot.  This is an all-in-one electric pressure cooker, slow cooker, rice cooker and yogurt maker.  Among its many uses, it’s great for cooking large hunks of meat quickly and deliciously (think pork shoulder or lamb shank) or collagen-rich bone broth (great to have on hand through cold and flu season).

Slow Cooker.  Plug and play meals.  Add meat, vegetables and seasonings; set the timer, and dinner is ready when you get home.

The Whole30 Fast & Easy Cookbook. Cooking healthy meals doesn’t have to feel intimidating, hard or time-consuming. Try these Whole30 recipes for fast, easy and tasty nourishment.

Less Plastic = Better Health

Stainless steel straws.  An estimated 500 MILLION straws are used every day in the U.S. alone¹; a 2017 study estimates that roughly 8.3 BILLION plastic straws litter beaches around the world.²  Not to mention, if you’re sipping your green juice or smoothie through a plastic straw, you are exposing yourself to bisphenol-A (BPA), an industrial chemical that has estrogen-mimicking effects and has been linked to cancer in animal studies.³  These stainless steel straws (both straight and bent) come with a cleaning brush and can be used multiple times. A fun stocking stuffer.

Reusable Coffee Thermos.  Obviously, plastic cups contain BPA. Unfortunately, paper cups are often lined with BPA, too. Using this coffee flask could also help save a tree! On days that I drink coffee, I bring this thermos to my favorite organic coffee place and have them make a single espresso right in it. Whether you use it for hot coffee or iced tea, it keeps your beverage piping hot or well chilled.

Glass Water Bottle.  As water bottles go, I’m a big fan of glass as it is 100% BPA-free. Bonus: drinking from glass does not impart an “off” taste the way that plastic and metal water bottles can. This brand is also dishwater-friendly.

Non-Toxic Food storage containers. This may not sound like a sexy gift(!), but plastic food containers—from our home kitchens, to takeout meals—are a common everyday source of BPA that can, over time, negatively affect our hormones and overall health. An excellent non-toxic alternative is glass. Pyrex is relatively inexpensive and widely available. I personally like glass storage containers with snap-on lids. And, silicone storage containers are another option.

Insulated lunch bag.  By bringing your own lunch to work, you can save money, save time and eat healthier. Unlike many insulated lunch bags, this portable lunch tote is free of endocrine-disrupting chemicals, like BPA and PVC (polyvinyl chloride).

Upgrade Your Caffeine

Organic Green, Black or White Teas.  A study published in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry found that pesticide residues in dry tea leaves can make their way into your cup of brewed tea. In addition to pesticides, popular brands of conventional teabag teas (think Lipton, Celestial Seasonings and Tetley, among others) have been found to contain other toxic substances, including fluoride, artificial ingredients and added flavors. Elevate your tea-drinking experience with this organic loose leaf tea sampler from a tea company that goes the extra mile with their “organic” label by avoiding all pesticides, GMOs, plastic-lined teabags and “natural” flavor sprays.

Better Than Organic Coffee.  Coffee beans are one of the most heavily sprayed crops. These coffee beans come from small, single-origin sustainable farms in Guatemala or Columbia, where the soil has never been sprayed with pesticides.  The beans are also roasted in a way to minimize potential mold-toxins (yes, mold can grow in coffee beans!).

Organic Matcha Tea.  Think of matcha as an espresso version of green tea. Matcha is loaded with antioxidants (even more than green tea because matcha contains nutrients from the entiretea leaf, which is ground into a fine powder). Regular consumption of matcha has been associated with cancer prevention, heart health and improved focus and memory. I always recommend organic “ceremonial-grade” for the best matcha tea experience!

Matcha Whisk Set.  If you get into a matcha tea groove, this bamboo whisk set is a must. Using a regular spoon or whisk to make your matcha simply will not do.  The bamboo whisk not only enhances the matcha tea-making ritual, but it also intensifies the flavor of every verdant sip.

Eat Clean 

100% Grass-Fed & Grass-Finished Meat. Get humanely raised, antibiotic-free, hormone-free, 100% grass-fed (and grass-finished) meat, including beef, pork and chicken, delivered straight to your door. A monthly subscription service. Click here to check out your monthly subscription plan options here.

Smoothie Box. Eating a healthy breakfast is easy with these ready-to-blend frozen smoothies, featuring one full serving of organic fruits and vegetables and collagen protein. Bonus: no added sugars! Click here to check out the Holiday Special: new members get $10 off every smoothie box purchase.

Thrive Market.  From high quality protein powders and bone broth, to gluten-free pastas, olive oil and baby foods, Thrive Market is a one-stop shop for top organic, non-GMO and non-toxic brands. A nominal annual membership fee gives you up to 50% off top organic brands.  New members get 25% off + free shipping on your first order when you SIGN UP HERE.

Feel Better Now!

7-Day Detox.  If the holiday festivities leave you feeling tired, low energy, lethargic, bloated or “heavy”, you can “RESET” body and mind with a whole foods-based detox.  Click here for details and Option 1, Option 2 and Option 3.

Free 15-Minute Consultation (good through Dec. 31st). If you feel confused about how and what eat, you are not alone! Our bodies change over the course of our lifetime, so you may find that what you were able to eat at ages 16 or 26 now causes digestive distress or hormone imbalances that can manifest as symptoms, like acne, rashes, pain, brain fog, weight gain, belly fat or poor sleep.  Or, maybe you want make healthier eating choices and lifestyle habits in the New Year.  If you’ve been thinking about getting support to help achieve your health goals, I am offering a free 15-minute phone consultation until December 31st.  During our time together, we’ll get crystal clear about your main health goals and challenges—and if we sync well as partners in reaching your health goals.  Click here to learn more About Kathryn and Kathryn’s work with clients.

To schedule a consultation.  Please email me at kathryn@kathryn-matthews.com and type “Free Consultation” in the Subject header.  Please indicate the best days and times to speak by phone (e.g., Tuesdays at 1PM and Fridays at 2PM) in your email.

Quality Sleep = Healthy Body & Weight 

You can literally sleep your way to better health. If you (or someone you love) struggles with falling or staying asleep, the following can help…

Blue Light Blocking Glasses. This protective evening eyewear can help protect you from sleep-disrupting blue light emitted by electronic devices, including your TV, computer, phone and other electronic screens.

Blackout Curtains. Light of any kind can interfere with the quality of your sleep.  Blackout curtains help ensure true darkness in your bedroom.

Sleep mask. Even small pinpoints of light can interfere with sleep. This comfortable sleep mask effectively blocks out light. Total darkness increases the production of melatonin, the hormone that naturally makes you feel sleepy.

Ear plugs.  A snoring bed partner or other frightful night noises (blasting music, outside construction, partying neighbors) can prevent you from getting a restful night of sleep.  For anyone who longs to “turn off the noise”, these hypoallergenic ear plugs may be a well-appreciated stocking stuffer.

Relaxing Teas. A bedtime ritual, like sipping a warm cup of tea, can help you wind down from the day and prepare you for sleep. This variety 5-pack of all-organic, stress-relieving herbal teas can help relax body and mind and ensure a successful transition to sleep.

Magnesium. This hard-to-get mineral is rapidly depleted under chronic stress. If you feel anxious or stressed, you will likely have difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep.  Studies suggest that magnesium can calm a racing mind by helping the brain to relax.⁵  If you’re prone to anxiety, supplementing with magnesium in the following forms can help:
Epsom salt bath  
Magnesium glycinate
Magnesium Oil Ultra (8 oz.)

Sources:
¹  National Geographic.  July 2018
²  Science Advances.  19 July 2017; Vol. 3, no. 7, e1700782
³  Reproductive Toxicology.  Vol. 59, Jan. 2016, pp. 167-182
⁴  Canadian Broadcasting Company. March 8, 2014
⁵  Nutrients. 2017 May; 9(5): 429